Carers in touch
Mick and Carole Crofts lived life to the full – they loved going out with friends, had a holiday home in Cyprus and Mick had his own vehicle hire business.
The couple married in 1996 – a second marriage for them both – and with four grown-up children between them, they couldn’t have been happier.
But life changed in early 2008 while Mick and Carole were on holiday; Mick, an excellent swimmer and water skier, did a strange dive into a swimming pool. Carole thought he was messing around but when it happened again the next day, she knew he had a problem. When they returned home, he was seen by a neurologist because his hand was shaky, his writing had changed and he was having nightmares. Eventually, in February 2009 after many tests, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.
It wasn’t until October 2013, after further tests, that the diagnosis was changed to Multiple System Atrophy (MSA) – a rare condition and difficult to diagnose. Sadly, Mick died in 2016, aged 70. Now Carole (63) wants to encourage other carers who are struggling to cope. “I’m a very squeamish person and never in a million years would I have thought I could be a carer but when you face a situation like we did, you just have to get on with it,” she says. “Being a carer can be tough; Mick was very independent and often didn’t want help.”
Mick was determined not to let MSA beat him for as long as possible but eventually, Carole’s sister, Judy, began to help with his daily care. Carole and Judy did everything they could to make Mick’s life as comfortable as it could be. Carole says: “Mick was often stressed because I had to do so much for him. Towards the end of his life, he said to me, ‘This isn’t what you signed up for when you married me’. I replied that he
hadn’t signed up for it either.” Carole also wants to encourage other people not to stop visiting a friend or loved one who is ill. “Many of Mick’s friends stopped visiting him because they said they didn’t like seeing him as he was. That really upset him, so please don’t give up on your friends. “We coped with the stressful days by making jokes, just like we always did. A couple of days before he died, Mick’s legs were very shaky and he joked that he looked like he was doing Riverdance. I then did my version of Irish dancing and we both laughed. That was how we coped. “I hope our story may encourage others who are struggling with long-term conditions. Things are going to happen whether you are miserable or not, so you might as well be cheerful.” Carole now fundraises for the MSA Trust to try to raise awareness of the condition which cut Mick’s life short. “Life didn’t turn out how I expected, but I think being a carer for Mick has made me a better person.”
■ For help and support with MSA, visit www.msatrust.org.uk or call 0333 323 4591