Carers in touch
When Derek and Penny Fisher retired within a short time of each other, they set off for a new life overseas.
The couple headed off to sunny Spain to enjoy their retirement, making friends in the ex-pat community and enjoying life in the sunshine.
All went well for 18 months until the couple were having an evening drink on their balcony when Derek had a transient ischaemic attack (TIA) followed by an epileptic fit.
Doctors couldn’t find any other problems and Derek and Penny hoped it was a one-off incident. Sadly, Derek began to have similar attacks. Within a short time, Penny became his carer and she quickly found out that living with health problems overseas can be very different from being ill in the UK.
Eventually, Derek sadly died and now Penny wants to warn other people to think carefully before starting a new way of life overseas.
“Living abroad is fine when everything is going well,” says Penny (74). “But as we all get older, it is almost inevitable there will be health issues.”
Penny says she felt isolated when Derek became ill and she soon discovered there wasn’t as much help in Spain as there is in the UK.
“Extended families do most of the caring in Spain, so there aren’t as many support groups for carers. I felt very much alone,” she says. “Derek was in and out of hospital and although friends were supportive, they had their own lives to lead.
“I wanted to come back to the UK when Derek became ill, but we had nowhere to come back to and he quickly became too ill to travel.”
As Derek’s condition worsened, doctors diagnosed vascular dementia and, almost at the end of his life, Penny was told he also had a brain tumour.
Each time Derek went into hospital, Penny spent 12 hours a day at his bedside as he became frightened if she wasn’t with him.
When Derek died in August 2006, she found that Spanish funerals had to be arranged within a few days and she found this stressful.
Penny wanted to return to the UK, but it took two years to sort out the property and move back. She began to feel better among old friends and back with her old GP surgery.
Today Penny volunteers for Sue Ryder and the Alzheimer’s Society. She doesn’t regret their days in Spain, but does regret that they didn’t think what would happen if one of them became ill while abroad.
“We just assumed we would both be all right,” says Penny. “But you never know what’s going to happen in life. I’ll always miss him but I live peacefully with it now.”
‘I’ll always miss him but I live peacefully with it now’