Nativity memories
It makes you laugh, it makes you cry – Yours writer Marion Clarke adores a school nativity play
If any production deserves the title The Play That Goes Wrong, it is surely the school nativity play. I am full of admiration for teachers who have the tough job of finding a role for everyone, regardless of talent, followed by the challenge of getting little ones to learn their lines and persuading mums to make the costumes. No West End director would take it on!
Luckily, it is the things that go wrong that bring the biggest laughs from the audience of doting mums and dads and become the stuff of family legend, as Anne Edmonds recounts: “Being a very bright little girl, my great-granddaughter Emily (4) was chosen for the role of Mary. The teachers didn’t seem to mind that she kept up a running commentary throughout, telling the audience that one of the ‘sheep’ who fell off the stage was, ‘alright now because I gave him a cuddle in the interval’.”
In the best traditions of showbusiness, whatever happens, the play must go on – as a six-yearold Susan Payne discovered: “Being a tall child and able to read quite well, I had two roles; one as a shepherd and one as a narrator introducing the scenes. This meant moving quickly to change costumes. Rushing to change, I fell off the back of the stage with an enormous crash. The teacher called down, ‘Susan, have you broken your leg?’ Luckily, I hadn’t and was able to scramble back on to the stage.” What a trouper! Patricia Bayley recalls a different unrehearsed incident when she had the part of the angel Gabriel:
“I had to blow a trumpet to herald the arrival of baby Jesus. As we were shuffling about on the stage, finding our places, the girl next to me grabbed the trumpet, saying, ‘I’m having that!’. The curtain rose on the scene to reveal two red-faced, angry little girls at one side. Afterwards, the headmistress had stern words with us.”
Christina Luxton would have liked to play Gabriel, but she was ruled out on an unusual technicality: “We all waited to be given our roles by our teacher, Miss Navishka. She had named Mary and Joseph and some of the angels then, looking at me, she said, ‘Of course Christina can’t be an angel. Everybody knows that angels don’t have red hair. You will have to be a shepherd’. So I wore my dressing gown and kept my head covered with a tea towel, but I still remember her words.” Sounds like another case of blondes getting all the best roles, Christina!
When Maggie Deakin’s daughter Kirstie was chosen to play Mary she had to say the line, ‘Oh Joseph, there is no room at the inn and I am SO tired’. Mum came to her aid: “To make sure she could be heard, I made her stand at the top of the stairs while I listened in the living room. But every
Other mums were less keen to rally round – especially if it meant making a suitable costume...
time she tried to say ‘Joseph’, she said ‘Jovis’ instead. I thought, ‘Oh well, it will make people smile’, but amazingly on the night she got it right, to the surprise of a very proud mum and grandma.”
Other mums were less keen to rally round – especially if it meant making a suitable costume. Michele Govier’s mother heaved a sigh of relief when she learned her daughter was the narrator so just needed to wear a nice dress: “Her relief was shortlived because a few days later I was asked if I wanted to swap roles as the angel Gabriel’s mother couldn’t make the costume.”
Michelle jumped at the chance of stardom: “I skipped home to tell my mother who said between clenched teeth, ‘That’s good. Well done!’ A white bed sheet, some tinsel and wire and a lot of effort from my mum and gran gave me my five minutes of fame, but my mother never quite forgave me for swapping!”
Whatever role you’re given, sticking to the script is important. Patricia Pock still smiles at the memory of Michael who was very excited to be the innkeeper: “When Mary and Joseph knocked on the door and asked if he had a room, he said very loudly, ‘Yes. Would you like one with a sea view?’
“When telling this story to the headmaster of a local primary school, he told us about his first-year pupils who were playing the wise men. The first one said, ‘I bring gold’, the second wise man said, ‘I bring myrrh’ and the third one announced, ‘Frank sent this’!”
When you think about it, gold, frankincense and myrrh were hardly the most suitable presents for a newborn baby – as Abby George’s daughter, Chloe, rightly pointed out. “I was telling her the story of the nativity and when I got to the part about the three wise men, she was unimpressed. ‘They should have brought nappies’, she said thoughtfully.”