‘I’m here to be a friend’
When Sue Whibley’s father was cared for by Marie Curie, she decided to give back by becoming a Helper volunteer to support other families
In the hardest moments of life, sometimes all we need is someone to make a warm cup of tea, run a useful errand for us or take time to listen to our concerns. And that’s exactly what Sue Whibley does every time she volunteers as a helper for Marie Curie. While specially trained nurses and doctors tend to the medical needs of terminally ill patients, volunteers like Sue are there to help with the little things that can make all the difference to people going through what might be the toughest time of their lives.
Sue first became involved with Marie Curie when her father became terminally ill and needed some extra care at the end of his life. A Marie Curie Nurse came in and Sue and her family were humbled by the care she showed. “She was so amazing, not only to my dad but in supporting the whole family,” says Sue, 72, from Nottingham.
Moved by that experience, soon after her father had died Sue decided she wanted to give back to Marie Curie and offered to be a volunteer. It was at that point she was told Marie Curie were piloting a new free Helper volunteer service. After being security checked and trained Sue immediately signed up.
As a Helper volunteer, Sue gets stuck in with anything that needs doing but is mainly on hand to help families with useful things like taking them to appointments or social events and providing companionship and support when the person with a terminal illness or their family wants to talk.
“Sometimes families get so entwined in their grief they can’t always support each other when a loved one is dying,” says Sue. “What I find is the thing many patients and their families appreciate is someone who’s not part of the family to support them, allowing them to let off steam without judgment and that’s where I can help.”
She also helps give families and carers a much-needed respite break, as well as helping signpost them to where they can get more support, such as finding a cleaner to help around the house. “I’ve worked with couples where the husband is caring for the wife, but when I visit, he can go to the pub and have a pint without worrying about his wife or go and get a haircut. It gives him a little break and a chance to take time for himself.”
And when the sad moment comes when their loved ones die, Sue can also be there to help support the family in their grief and be a friend to them.
As a Helper volunteer, Sue is matched to a person who self-refers or is referred through a health professional to the scheme, according to their needs and her interests, to try and make it work for everyone. She gives up a minimum of three hours a week but often does more, saying she’s compelled to keep giving her time because she can see the difference it makes.
“When you’ve been to see somebody and they are at rock bottom, just buying a loaf of bread on the way to see them or supporting them on a hospital visit can make such a difference and it’s so rewarding.”