In her new column, actress and TV star Sherrie Hewson is sharing her life with us and discussing the topics that affect us all. This fortnight – confusing rules, DVD dramas and gaining a ‘lockdown stomach’!

Hope I find you well and safe. That’s what we all say now at the end of a message isn’t it! We never said it before this pandemic, except I guess during the war years.

I don’t know if those of us of a certain age were singled out in those war years like we are now – it seems very ageist this time. I’m quite confused by the government’s ever-changing instructions... stay in but go out for several walks a day; if you are of a certain age self-isolate, but if you have a test and you are negative you can go out; wear masks on a train but not in the station! Six people can meet in a garden two metres apart, but only one member of your family. Your plumber or cleaner can come into your house but not your daughter or grandchildren… and it’s changing all the time. I’d like to meet the person making up these rules, I don’t know if I’m coming or going.

There are some moments to make us smile though. On my walk every day I pass a neighbour’s house. She’d left a box outside her gate with old DVDs in and a notice saying: ‘Please take them’. After a couple of days most of them had gone and as a result of that, she put more

■ out over another few days.

On the fourth day she went out in the morning to fill up the empty box only to find all the DVDs had been returned, plus others! People had taken the ones they wanted to watch for their children and themselves, then brought them all back plus ones of their own they didn’t want, so our lovely neighbour ended up with twice as many as she started with! She could open a shop!

I have to tell you I am struggling at the moment. I was in the shower and looked down but couldn’t see my feet. Now I know I have feet as I walk, but they are overshadowed by the middle bit of my body, ie my stomach. I breathed in and yes hallelujah, there they were at the end of my legs. I then had to exhale quickly and they were gone.

This is a very sad tale of neglect and indulgence! I need help or some sort of suction that can remove all the excess of mashed potato, chips, biscuits, ice-cream etc. I’m looking after my granddaughter’s guinea pigs and Chihuahua and they are heading the same way and therefore all four of us will end up needing therapy! So please think of us as we waddle to the next bowl of chips... ‘I breathed in, looked down and could see my feet... then exhaled and they were gone!’ (Teddy, Bodger and Badger)