Make a list

Different types of relationships require different treatment, but essentially they should all leave you feeling respected and supported. To help you get started, make some lists and complete the following: ‘To protect my time and energy, it’s OK to_______’ and ‘People may not______’.

Give yourself permission

Many of us struggle to get our boundaries set because of negative emotions such as fear or guilt.

You might worry about upsetting other people, or fear making them angry – but believe it or not, better boundaries will actually improve your relationships, as well as giving you space to recharge. When in doubt, repeat the following aloud: “I have a right to say no. I have a right to be treated with respect.”

Let them know

When you’ve decided what has to change, you’ll probably want to let the person concerned know – in an assertive, but not aggressive way. Try using this structure to frame the conversation: ‘I feel ____ when ____ because___. What I need is ____’. For example,

‘I feel exhausted when every moment of our weekend away is planned out, because I just need some time to relax and go with the flow.’

Creating your own limits on what you will and won’t accept are an essential part of good mental health, says Lizzy Dening. Personal boundaries protect your emotional energy and mental space, while setting some basic rules about respect for those around you. Here are five ways to set healthy boundaries in your life

Go with ‘no’

Alternatively, there are certain people who won’t be willing to listen to your reasons, or perhaps who don’t deserve them in the first place! If in doubt, a pleasant but firm ‘No, I can’t do that’, works wonders – and is completely within your rights.

Without a bra on, measure in inches around your torso directly under your bust. Pull it snug and round up to the nearest inch. If your measurement is an even number add on four inches, if it’s an odd number, add on five.

Wear a non-padded bra. Measure loosely in inches around your bust at the fullest part. Round up to the nearest inch. Subtract your band size from your cup measurement and the difference is your cup size.

Difference 0 in inches

Cup size

AA

1 2 3 4

A

B

C

D

5

6

DD/E DDD/F

Emma says: “Your underband should sit in a horizontal line around your body. Fasten it on the loosest hook and pull it out from the centre back. If it pulls out 4-8cm you need to go down an underband size. If it pulls out 8-12cm go down two underband sizes and if it’s 12-16cm, go down three sizes.”

“Adjust the straps so they sit comfortably on your shoulders. They shouldn’t dig in or fall down, but after wearing they may need tightening.”