Relax with Sherrie time
Memories of her mum remind Sherrie of a hilarious but somewhat embarrassing experience… Hello lovely Yours family,
I hope all you mums had a fabulous Mother’s Day. When my mum was alive I always organised tea at a hotel for us. She was a model so she always looked amazing, with her 6in heels, layered clothes, immaculate hair and make-up. It was very hard to live up to, but I tried. She was a contradiction, my mum. I remember taking her for a meal with friends and as we were all about to order, she announced, “I’m a vegetarian and I don’t drink alcohol.” Everyone acknowledged this and carried on ordering. It then came to mum’s turn. “I’ll have chicken chasseur.” I leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Mum aren’t you veggie?” She looked at me with her cross face and said, “Yes, I told you, I don’t eat meat!” I stopped there, I knew the signs. My grandma was the same, a vegetarian who ate chicken! When the wine arrived the waiter gave my mother water. “Wine is not classed as alcohol,” she announced, nor was brandy apparently in her book, as it was medicinal! You could never fault her dress sense so when she offered to buy me an outfit for a big audition I had in the Seventies I was delighted. It was for the New Avengers, You know the part, Joanna Lumley played her – Purdey. Mum bought me an amazing designer suit, with very tight black trousers. She advised me not to wear knickers under the suit to avoid a VPL (visible panty line) and not to sit down when I got there so I didn’t look crumpled.
As I walked into to the meeting the producer gestured towards a chair so I sat down, handbag on floor. All was fine. Once it was over I thanked them and bent down to retrieve my bag, but as I did so a tearing sound filled the room. My beautiful trousers had split from the top of the waistband to between my legs. Bedlam ensued! I stood with my back to the wall, sobbing uncontrollably.
The two men – a producer and director
– left the room. The casting director was a gentle understanding lady who instructed me to stay by the wall and assured me she would fix the situation... but to please stop crying.
She came back with a black bin liner with two holes she’d made for my feet. I stepped into the liner so now I had a black plastic nappy on tied to my waist. The humiliation was complete! My only consolation was, they had ordered me a car rather than me getting on a tube. I never wore that suit again and of course I didn’t get the job as after me in walked the beautiful Joanna Lumley!
‘I had an audition for Purdey in the New Avengers, the part that Joanna Lumley would go on to play’