Poet now regrets an act of generosity

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

Cleaning out 30 years of home.

Gave away to a very close friend two items

I regretted giving

Called her next morning

Asked for them back

I made an overwhelmed decision

May I have back

She said no

You gave them away

She gave them to her daughter Was very hurt/disheartened by her decision

Kept friendship

Had given her at least 30 items before this

So

Who was right

I myself would have given them back

GENTLE READER:

Unfortunately

She gave it to her daughter So she too would be forced to ask for something back

Which she obviously won’t like However

Miss Manners has some sympathy

She will grant you

One more appeal: My grandmother gave me that necklace and brooch.

Might your daughter like to pick out something else of mine?

I have some other wonderful things.

But if your very close friend refuses

Miss Manners is afraid that you must let it

Drop

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

My husband has the habit of leaning three inches from his plate and sniffing his food. I contend that it is offensive to do this; it conveys the message to me that he is questioning the food’s consumability. He maintains that it is human nature to smell one’s food, and that it is a survival instinct found throughout nature. Who is correct?

GENTLE READER:

What is natural and what is correct are two very different things. After all, it is also a survival instinct to relieve oneself at the exact place and time that one finds it necessary, but even dogs learn to curb that tendency. Quite literally.

A survival instinct is something instilled in order to continue the species. Therefore, by your husband’s own logic, if he is smelling his food with the intention of warding off his own death, that is indeed offensive to the chef.

However, if your husband can manage to disguise these unseemly whiffs to look as though he is merely delighting at the aroma, then Miss Manners supposes it could be made acceptable. It would have to be terribly convincing, though.