Beauty and style adorned in spirituality
Achill in the air and we move toward winter. In past years I’d be shopping now for boots and sweaters. With COVID that’s changed, but my ongoing internal debate remains: I want to look good—to be polished and professional. But part of my work is spiritual direction, so what role does appearance play? This presents a question of spirituality and style. Are they a contradiction? Or, are they, instead, an intersection?
One day, years ago, I was on my way to meet my new spiritual director for the first time. She had been recommended by several people—a good sign. I drove to the Mother House in Latham. Yes, a nun. I knew that her order was full of fierce, smart women. But still, a nun. So after I parked my car I did a quick adjustment. I took off my fancy silk scarf and dangly earrings. I deliberately “dulled down” my outfit. First impressions, and all that.
I entered the lobby and was directed to the small parlor to meet the sister, and when she rose to greet me I was awed. Her elegant dress was made of a cashmere-like fabric. The black and white paisley was anchored by a soft black leather belt with a hammered silver buckle that perfectly echoed the hammered silver cross that landed above her collar bones. She wore tiny matte silver earrings below a gamine shock of black and white hair.
There was only one word: Chic. She was an artist and a nun. God laughed.
Style is not separate from spirit. We may think that fashion is materialistic, and that spirituality is devoid—or should be—of the material, but that’s not true.
Similarly, religion isn’t synonymous with spiritual. You can have religion without spirituality, and you can have fashion without style — just as you can have style without fashion, and spirituality without religion.
For years I believed virtue was to be found in wearing sackcloth and ashes. I felt ashamed when I bought fashion magazines. I believed it was wrong to know the names of designers as well as I knew the poets. But Sister Marguerite changed that.
Spirituality is invisible and unseen; it is a power, a guide, and an internal communication. Style is also invisible, but it is a seen power, and it, too, is a guide, but an external form of communication. Style and spirituality are both manifestations of creativity. They both encompass body, mind and spirit. There is an element of mystery in both.
Style is a manner of doing, shaping, designing or being—it is expressed in art, clothing, décor, etc. We often say that someone has style when we admire the way they look. In fact, what we are admiring are the choices they have made—the way they see and express themselves.
Spirituality is a sense of connection to something bigger than our self. It typically involves a search for meaning. As such, it is a universal human experience, and it, too, is about choices.
Sometimes I wonder how I can balance my love of art and design with my commitment to connecting to a god or a higher power.
When I meet with a client for spiritual direction I ask them, “What is bigger than you?” Some people say, “God” but others say “nature” or “science” or “the ocean.” Beauty is bigger than me, so it is no doubt a higher power. And does anyone not think that Varda shoes, and burnished leather, and certain examples of Italian tailoring are beautiful?
Hence, spiritual.