Singular pleasures of traveling solo
Freedom to make own choices about schedule, meals, stops is invaluable
With all of the changes happening this year, my side hustle abruptly became my main project. With constant travel within the New England region, New York, and surrounding states that didn’t have travel restrictions at the time, I was keeping extremely busy scoping out places to write about. In the past, I would travel with friends, my boyfriend or family but in booking more trips, I found myself going on more of them solo. As much as I love the company, I quickly learned that there are a lot of benefits to taking the occasional solo trip, and working to build the confidence to do so.
No one holding you back
I used to wait for friends to also have time off to see that movie I wanted to see, try that new restaurant I’ve been dying to eat at or visit a new place. One day it occurred to me: Why am I doing that? The moment this occurred to me was when I was sitting home one day watching TV, while in Buffalo in 2016. It was a random beautiful weekday, but all of my friends were working, so I was wasting the day doing nothing. I felt this extreme urge to do something impulsive. I remembered that the Canadian side of Niagara Falls had just opened a new zip line that passes right by Niagara Falls. So I got in my car and took myself to Canada to go zip lining by myself. Then promptly took myself out to dinner when I got back. Don’t hold yourself back from doing what you want to do because you feel like you need someone else there with you.
Be selfish about your plans
There’s something to be said about doing exactly what you want in a new place. When I go by myself, I have my budget in mind, the things that I enjoy in mind, and I map out the trip. Maybe people don’t care about street art, but that is one of my favorite things to hunt down. I’ve been on trips with friends, with the occasional picky eater who prevents us from going to really amazing restaurants. I am a very adventurous eater and love trying new things, so going to a pub when you’re in a city known for amazing seafood feels illegal. It is so refreshing to do exactly what you want. Start the day when you want, take a nap when you want, see what you want, do what you want, eat where you want, with no one else in mind but yourself.
Be fully in the moment while dining
For years I’ve been comfortable doing most things by myself, but for some reason, eating by myself was always a challenge for me. I always felt a little awkward, and I do really enjoy having other people there to talk about the food and reminisce on the day. But one thing dining alone has taught me is confidence. I realized people don’t care if you're dining alone. They’re not looking at you, they’re involved in their own situation. I also never have a hard time getting a seat. Especially these days, it is more challenging to get a table with a group of people, or even one other diner. When I’m on my own, I generally get seated right away at a cozy corner table or at the bar. That also allows me to be more spontaneous with my eating choices. I was in Newport, strolling in a neighborhood when I came across a sign announcing dollar oysters and made a beeline inside. I was seated immediately and had my fill from the raw bar for cheap and even made some friends.
Meeting new people
That brings me to meeting new people. As I started traveling alone, I realized that really opens up the doors to start talking to new people. I’ve met a video editor who shared my creative mind from California, friends from all over New York while passing through, and made connections with other adventurous, like-minded individuals that I don’t know if I would’ve made if I had someone there with me. I think oftentimes one can be either a little closed off, or maybe just appear that way to others, when you’re traveling with other people. Being alone forces you to put yourself out there and make new meaningful, fun connections that could last.
Pick your own stops
I love spontaneous stops while on road trips. If your traveling companion just wants to go from A to B, you may miss some of those stops. I will always push making the most of the journey. PreCOVID, I used to be the A to B type person. I wanted to get to my destination as soon as possible. With restrictions and the dangers of flying during the pandemic leading to more road trips, this taught me that I was missing a lot: Country stores, antique shops, farm stands, new cities, small mountain towns, beaches, boardwalks, and more that I would’ve missed if I wasn’t able to do my own thing and stop where I wanted to stop. This kind of freedom to do my own thing on my own time makes me a much more confident, relaxed traveler.