Caregiving the focus of book by Ualbany professor
Author uses works of fiction, film, memoir as talking points
In the introduction to his new book “The Art of Caregiving in Fiction, Film, and Memoir” University at Albany professor Jeffrey Berman acknowledges that many of us will one day be caregivers. “The 10 works I focus on can offer not only insights into the importance of caregiving, but they show how difficult it can be along with the pleasures a caregiver can receive," Berman said. "They are the type of stories that upon reading or watching you want to talk about them because they bring up such emotional intensity.”
Berman said many of us have a great fear of being a caregiver. “The fear is understandable. Many caregivers are involved in end of life care, and that work is often exhausting. It can be a very lonely activity and often the caregivers own health is at risk. Taking care of another person can often bring out the best in someone, but unfortunately it can also bring out the worst."
Berman said that many times caregivers are drained of energy and may even wish the person they are taking care of would die or they may wish for their own death. “Self-help books on the topic of caregiving can be beneficial, but artistic works of film and literature can often take you to dark places and really show you what caregivers are thinking and feeling," Berman said. "These works can also inspire us and leave us with hope and resilience, which is what every caregiver needs.”
In his study, the English professor writes that many of the authors he focuses on in the book have all been caregivers, and he suspects by writing about such a difficult event it has helped them heal emotionally. “Writing is like talking but only better,” Berman said. “When we talk we don’t have time to think and revise. Our words disappear in the air, but when we write we see the words and can return to the experience and relive our emotions.”
He admits that most of his good insights have occurred during writing. “It’s a form of problem solving for me. Therapists often encourage patients to write a letter to a person to whom they feel conflicted. They don’t have to mail the letter, but just the act of writing and confronting your own feelings in itself is therapeutic.”
Every year Berman encourages his students to write about their pain. “Many of them write about their experience with the death of a loved one. It’s usually the first time they’ve actually written about the experience, and their writings are powerful and heartfelt. This is what draws me to caregiver stories. The best stories often explore the darkest of emotions but they also give us the unvarnished truth.”
Berman said one of the most important aspects of the experience is when students share what they have written to the class. “That’s when everyone in the class realizes they are not the only one suffering. Many of us are confronting similar problems.
This creates a feeling of com
munity with the class. It only works though when I have created a feeling of safety in the classroom that allows for students to write so honestly.”
He begins his book focusing on Leo Tolstoy’s 1886 masterpiece “The Death of Ivan Ilych,” which Berman refers to as the one book that remains the supreme story of mortality and caregiving. “I begin and end my book with an examination of that classic story. It can be read in just a few hours, and the brevity of that story makes it so powerful. It’s even taught in many medical schools as a way to understand how dying people are feeling. In the book I take a close look at the character Gerasim, a simple servant who ultimately is the one who cares for Ivan in his final days.”
Today there is even a Gerasim Model of Caregiving that consists of four characteristics central to a patient-caregiver relationship: the caregiver’s acceptance of the patent’s illness, honest communication between the two, patient-directed comfort measures, and a consistent, gentle and simple approach to caregiving.
Berman is completing his 48th year as a professor at SUNY. He feels blessed to teach a subject he is so passionate about. “The arts speak to our lives. They speak truthfully and insightfully about what we experience every single day. They also provide us with great pleasure. During this year’s lockdown I spent so much of my time reading and writing. I just can’t imagine live without the arts.”
He also can’t imagine his life without teaching. “I’d like to think I’m mid-career. Every year I learn so much from my students, and I only hope they’re learning as much from me.”
Berman remains healthy physically and mentally. “I’m 76 years old, and I wake up at 5 a.m. every day, drink a cup of coffee and begin reading, writing and preparing for my classes. I run 2 miles every day and go to bed at 9:30 every night, and as I fall asleep I can’t wait to wake up in the morning and begin work again.”
Berman is bursting with gratitude. “I’m so grateful to have my family and my work. Today the two most important words for me are love and gratitude.”