Remember the point of Memorial Day
Well, it’s one, two, three. What are we fighting for? Don’t ask me; I don’t give a damn; Next stop is Viet Nam. And it’s five, six, seven open up the pearly gates; Ain’t no time to wonder why. Whoopee! We’re all gonna die.
That song by Country Joe and The Fish was my introduction to war. It made me laugh and it gave me the cheap thrill of having an opinion without having to trouble with actual thought.
Many of us see Memorial Day as the long weekend that kicks off summer, mostly forgetting the origins and meaning of this holiday. So, in addition to sales and cookouts, we should give some serious thought to those who went to war for our country.
Memorial Day, like Veterans Day, is a patriotic holiday that honors the U.S. military. But let’s clear up the difference: Veterans Day recognizes all those who served in the military, while Memorial Day honors those who died while serving — thus a bit more somber or at least more reverent holiday. Hence the suggestion — and sometimes debate — about not saying, “Happy Memorial Day.”
Interestingly, one of the very earliest Memorial Day observances occurred in Charleston, S.C., less than one month after the Confederacy surrendered in 1865. During the Civil War, the Washington Race Course and Jockey Club in Charleston had served as a makeshift prison for Union prisoners. More than 260 Union soldiers died there from disease and starvation and their bodies were left in a mass grave.
When Charleston fell, and the Confederate troops evacuated the city, those freed from slavery remained. One of the first things those formerly enslaved men and women did was to give the fallen Union soldiers proper burials. They exhumed the mass grave and reburied the bodies in a new ceme
tery inscribing on its fence, “Martyrs of the Race Course.” And declared it a memorial day.
Memorial Day is traditionally when we remember those who died in service to our country, and we also remember the families who lost a loved one.
This holiday became real for me years ago when I was writing a book about military trauma and I got to know a group of United States China Marines. These vets served in China from 1937 to 1941 defending U.S. business interests in the run up to World War II. Those resilient men became my teachers and helped me to understand trauma as a cost of war.
During their service they experienced the combination of bloody atrocity and deadly boredom that most soldiers endure. These men were in their 90s when they told me how — 65 years later — they still struggled with addiction, nightmares and grief, and how it impacted their families for years.
Now that we understand the devastating effects of trauma, we can also honor those who didn’t die but who, just the same, lost their lives.
This weekend you can avoid the possible faux pas by skipping the, “Happy Memorial Day” greeting, but please take a moment to reflect on the meaning of this day. At 3 p.m. on Monday, we’ll pause for the National Moment of Remembrance. Set the alarm on your phone. Tell your children why you are pausing.
Semper fidelis or “Semper Fi” — the motto of the U.S. Marine Corps — originally meant faithfulness to the nation, but its more personal meaning is faithfulness to one another and the willingness to risk one’s life.
Every faith has a tenet that asks us not to close our eyes to suffering. And here, too, we should not look away.