We’re sick of listening to the tantrums of thugs and fools

Dear Capitol insurrectionists: It isn’t lost on me that “virus,” “victory,” and “violence” all start with “vi.”

So it occurred to me to wonder what else “vi” might indicate. Turns out, a lot.

It can mean “ventilation index,” which indicates the severity of respiratory illness in critically ill patients — possibly frequently determined with COVID -19 patients.

“Vi” can also stand for “vision impairment,” “volcanic island,” “vulnerability index,” “village idiot,” “vested interest” and “violent ideation.”

When your mostly white, largely male crowd, dressed in red ball caps, dowdy duds and Halloween costumes stormed the people’s house on Wednesday, a whole host of those “vi” phrases applied so fittingly.

“Vision impairment” can describe not seeing right in front of you, which is that your guy lost and that you are terrorizing the law-and-order guys you claim to champion. Logic?

“Volcanic island” is another descriptor, as in, that’s you, boys. Emphasis on explosiveness. Further emphasis on “island.”

“Vulnerability index” might measure the damage you do to the most vulnerable among us — racial, sexual and gender minorities, women and children. And also, that you probably don’t care about that crowd. Since they are not in your crowd.

“Village idiot” was not actually a term of derision in its

original usage; nevertheless, language and meaning do change. It suits you. Though, of course, it would be “village idiots” since you believe yourselves to be manifold.

“Vested interest” really only applies to the president. Your lot isn’t going to gain anything by what happened last week. But it might bolster the outgoing president’s base and that’s why he said he would promenade down Pennsylvania Avenue with you. (He didn’t, remember?)

“Violent ideation” is shrink-speak for when clients have thoughts and fantasies about inflicting harm on another person. Like maybe Mike Pence, for whom the gallows was built. Like maybe people of color or women or leaders who want to weave a social fabric that includes health care, education and economic opportunity — you know, those people you find so threatening because ... oh, golly, I’ve lost why you find them so threatening. I think it has something to do with Confederate flags and guns. Or is it your right to wear furry costumes and defecate in the Capitol? Sorry, it’s been a long week. I guess I’m just tired. I’m tired of you. I’m tired of hearing that you hadn’t felt heard and that was why Trump was your guy. But that after four years of him, you still don’t feel heard — and trust me, you have been heard — and so want to elevate him to the status of savior even as you somehow (this next part is lost on me, and I’ve been an ordained pastor for more than 20 years) consider that Jesus is also your savior — as long as you don’t have to linger too long on what he is recorded as having said.

Because that is where you really and truly lose me.

That is where I finally conclude — after having tried to listen and see your reality and engage your points of view — that you are truly thugs and opportunists and insurrectionists and prideful fools intent on mayhem.

I will never curse as loud as you do. Or beat Capitol police with the flagpole of our nation’s standard. I won’t be smashing windows, defacing elected officials’ offices or causing them to escape along underground tunnels during the second time the Capitol has been breached since 1814.

And I won’t be doing that not because I don’t want to be like you — which, by the way, I don’t. Instead, I will simply be very interested in how to make this troubled world a better one. So just stand down now. Do it.