Don’t scare children into loving God
Instead, instill and teach the wisdom in seeking his guidance
Anyone who seeks wisdom knows that when you seek it, it shows up. What we do with this gift, is up to us.
In 1974, fresh out of eight years of St. Joseph’s Catholic School, I went to Sachem, one of the largest public high schools in the country. I was thrilled to finally pierce my ears and wear mascara and jeans. I loved my new school but missed the reassurance found in acknowledging God’s presence throughout the day. So, I joined a Bible study. The teacher’s 8-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, enjoyed sitting next to me doodling in her sketch pad.
The week before Easter, the adults in our group discussed the sinfulness of mankind and the gruesome crucifixion of Jesus on the cross. I couldn’t help but cry. Fixating on the brutality of Jesus’ death in lieu of the redemption it revealed to the world, tripped me up. I thought, “If we are forgiven, why do we repeatedly punish ourselves by digging up our past sins?”
That’s when wisdom showed up to remind me of God’s unfailing mercy. I glanced down at Elizabeth’s doodle. She had drawn a simple wooden cross with these words printed below, “My Lord is no longer on the cross.” Wiping tears from my eyes, I thought, “Well then, why are we?” In the ’70s, tent revivals were common on Long Island. With echoing voices crackling through microphones, preachers bellowed about “Salvation and Righteousness.”
This fear-based approach to faith frightened the living daylights out of me. I confided in my uncle, Brother Gabriel Healy F.S.C. and was given another taste of wisdom. He whispered,
“If anybody presents God to you as weird or threatening, it’s not true.”
With that, I decided to do a little seeking and bought a small bible with a navy-blue plastic cover. I cherished that book for six years and discreetly pulled it out from under my pillow to read with a penlight before falling asleep. I discovered another taste of wisdom. “Fear not” was used more than 300 times in the Bible. Regardless of the name chosen to refer to God, most children and adults are familiar with an inexplicable guiding presence that allows for the exercise of free will. Since childhood, I’ve been taught to seek this mysterious guidance and listen to what God speaks to my heart. It’s been a valuable gift, especially when navigating life’s many storms.
Throughout the tempests, I embraced one of my favorite scripture verses for comfort: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”: Jeremiah 29:13. When I follow this guidance, it is usually with a sense of inconvenience that ultimately results in peace. When I reject this guidance, there’s a brief sense of satisfaction, followed by lingering irritation and regret.
Today, many children are raised without a spiritual foundation. Young families are busy. Many have been turned off from organized religion. I get that. But unlike many adults, children are comfortable with mystery. They find comfort in praying with their family about all that concerns them. We need to give them a foundation. From there, they will build their own spiritual houses. Very soon our little ones will be teenagers seeking answers to their endless questions. But they won’t be turning to their parents. They’ll be out in our beautiful, yet bewildering world, navigating their life’s journey. We’ll be glad we’ve instilled the wisdom in seeking God who lovingly guides them.
““If anybody presents God to you as weird or threatening, it’s not true.”
Brother Gabriel Healy