We have to stop enabling and forgiving toxic masculinity

The multiple allegations of sexual harassment or inappropriate behavior made against Gov. Andrew Cuomo go beyond the politics of the moment. He won’t be the last to be unmasked in a political culture of toxic masculinity and aggression.

Toxic masculinity is at the root of violence against women, sexual harassment and abuse, and it enforces a belief that aggression is an essential part of masculinity that has limited consequences. Politics is only one of the many arenas where these views fester and grow more dangerous.

Nothing less than an attitudinal shift is needed to show how dangerous these toxic views are. Every aspect of a woman’s life is affected by toxic masculinity, and we can see it on full display in the many structural inequities that exist in our society. It’s at the root of violence against women, sexual harassment and abuse, and it’s behind the backlash against feminism that has never gone away.

We must name toxic masculinity for what it is: an oppressive belief that paralyzes people in our society to conform to dangerous gender expectations and norms of masculinity vs. femininity. It encourages rigid thinking patterns and condones expressions of aggression, but ostracizes expressions of emotion. And it will only contribute to the hatred of anyone who defies its strict roles and standards.

In 2018, the Southern Poverty Law Center and the National Consortium for the Study of

Terrorism and Responses to Terrorism began to track male supremacy as one of the ideologies that lead to terrorist attacks. The motivation for this violence stems from two core misogynist beliefs. First, that men are entitled to sexual access to women, a belief that those who identify as “incels” or “involuntary celibates” have used to justify mass violence as retribution for being denied sex. And secondly, that feminists control society at the expense of men, and therefore must be punished.

The Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, the Three Percenters and other hate groups that fueled the insurrection at the U.S. Capitol model the kind of masculinity they admire in Donald Trump and live within information silos where they see only similar views.

In this online “manosphere,” they circulate texts like the 100-page manifesto of Anders Breivik, who killed 77 people in Norway in 2011 and wrote that “radical feminism” was controlling the media, education and government. They also read the autobiography of 22-yearold Elliot Rodger, who killed six and injured 13 others at UC Santa Barbara before shooting himself, blaming his actions on his inability to get a girlfriend and his disgust over interracial couples. At least five successful attacks were modeled on Rodger’s, including the 2018 shooting at a Tallahassee yoga studio by an avowed hater of women named Scott Beierle who cast himself as a similar victim of female “treachery.”

We’re living amid a broken culture — a culture that fosters, enables and ultimately forgives toxic masculinity. A society that won’t stand up to violence against women is a failed society.

So how can we begin to fix it?

We must call out toxic masculinity by name when we see it and demand that those who allow this culture to spread unchecked, whether they are individuals, workplaces or social media platforms, are held accountable for their role. When it comes to violent or extremist behavior against women, crimes need to be addressed accordingly, and perpetrators must face consequences.

It’s time to grow a new generation of feminist men, informed and lifted up by their fathers and brothers, to recognize and reject toxic masculinity in all its forms. We all stand together in the cause of gender equality — because equality is for everyone. And this cannot exist when one group looks down on another and feels threatened by the mere prospect of equality.