RIGHT-TO-DIE ROLE A NE W CHALLENGE FOR ACTOR
Barbara Howard, a veteran of stage, looked within herse
As the pastor’s wife for some 25 years at Blessed Hope Worship Center in Albany, Barbara Howard was nicknamed the First Lady. Really though, she was a minister in her own right, witnessing and supporting members of the small congregation on their life journeys. Howard carries that same spirit of generosity and empowerment in her work as an actor, singer and storyteller. But preparing for her current role in “Dead and Breathing” tested her compassion.
“Dead and Breathing” is a small play that wrestles with the big issues of assisted suicide, the right to die and the sanctity of life. Opening a two-week run on Thursday, the show is a production of the Black Theatre Troupe of Upstate NY and is the company’s first presentation in its new residency at Capital Repertory Theatre.
There are only two characters in “Dead and Breathing.” Carolyn is affluent, willful and frustrated at being on the verge of death for two years and counting. Veronika, her new hospice nurse, arrives with good credentials plus a strong Christian faith. She thinks her role will be helping the patient be free from pain while waiting for death. But Carolyn wants immediate assistance in hastening death and offers Veronika substantial recompense for doing so.
When stage director and company founder Jeanremy Monnay told Howard that he wanted her to play Carolyn, he didn’t get an immediate “yes.” One of the first indications that the role would be going against Howard’s type was all the four-letter words that come out of the character’s mouth.
“I’ve never done a play with that language. But the story hit me and seemed important so it was a process. I prayed about it, thought about it, and did a lot of soul searching.” says Howard. She later adds that the play “has a good message.”
An Albany native, Howard got her start in local theater with the Empire State Institute for the Performing Arts, which morphed into the now defunct New York State Theatre Institute. That was back in
the 80s and over the ensuing decades she’s worked with lots of local troupes. Some of her most prominent appearances in recent years were in “Caroline, or Change” at the Schenectady Light Opera, “Ragtime” at the Cohoes Music Hall, and “The Trip to Bountiful” at Capital Rep. Earlier this year she was named by the Rep as an associate artist.
“When you take a new role, any role, you’re a studier of human nature, always doing that so you can be authentic,” she explains. “You think about connections to your own life, then branch out to people you’ve known, and you go further and look at what really happened in this situation.”
Even after such a thorough go at finding under
standing and commonality, some roles can still be a problem. As Howard puts it, “you can get judgmental of your character.”
Speaking about 10 days before opening night, Howard admits she’s still coming to terms with Carolyn, who has been popping up at unexpected moments. “She’s always sitting there,” says Howard. “As you go about your day, certain things will trigger thoughts of her. You walk away from the script study, and she’s still there.”
Through her work in ministry, Howard has sat with individuals as they ponder death. In a hushed and measured voice, she recalls: “In that situation, you’re sometimes at a loss for words though your heart is opened and you want to say the right things to offer comfort. The person can sense that and starts comforting you. That leads to acceptance.”
Asked if she had a position on assisted suicide, Howard continues using that same gentle and deliberate voice, perhaps to prevent herself from getting too emotional, also perhaps in reverence to the magnitude of such matters. “At this point, I don’t know. I’d say the same thing a year ago, I don’t know. I’ve had close friends who have been through a hard process. I’m not in those shoes, I can’t judge it, I haven’t walked there,” she says.
Whether she’s on stage or in ministry, Howard says her goal is to “inspire and lift people up.” That mission was also realized in her long and distinguished teaching career. For about 15 years she taught grade school for Albany City Schools. But five years of retirement was enough and she’s now teaching theater arts at Brighter Choice Charter Elementary School for Boys. Picturing her students in a lighthearted and youthful version of “The Three Musketeers,” she chuckles and says, “It’s amazing how they go from really timid to strong and confident. That’s because they’ve got a safe space to make mistakes.”
There are laughs to be had from “Dead and Breathing” as well. One critic called it a dark humor, yet Howard doesn’t buy that description. “There are lots of humorous points,” she says. “With storytelling you’re always looking for that balance. You want to be able to give a good message and to make it palatable for them to receive it. Sometimes it’s hard message but you don’t just leave them after stepping on their toes.”