Giant engagement ring unsettling
DEAR ABBY: Over the weekend, while I was cleaning and reorganizing our bedroom, I found the engagement ring my boyfriend plans on proposing to me with. I didn’t know he was planning to ask the big question, and I’m thrilled that he is going to. I haven’t even hinted that I know anything is going on because I don’t want to ruin the surprise more than I already have.
My problem is, I hate the ring he chose. It’s beautiful, but, Abby, it’s so big. I like dainty jewelry, and it is the complete opposite of anything I would ever choose for myself. What do I do? I love this man with my whole heart. He’s my best friend, and we have been there for each other through the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. We have great communication and always keep things completely honest between us. I suppose I should suck it up. He chose this ring for me, and
I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Please tell me what to do.
—Disappointed In Illinois DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Congratulations on your upcoming engagement. Your problem is unique because most of the letters I receive about engagement rings come from women who are disappointed that the stone is so small. However, if the size of the stone in the ring your boyfriend is giving you makes you uncomfortable, your response — after an enthusiastic “YES!!!” — could be, “But, darling, this stone is so large we will have to hire an armed guard to accompany me if I wear it outside the house. Are you sure it’s wise for me to wear this every day? I would be very happy with something more modest, you know.” (It’s worth a try.)
DEAR ABBY: I have always been too kind and polite. I give money I shouldn’t, say yes to favors I don’t want to do and keep my mouth shut in situations where I should speak up. My best friend once told me I shouldn’t say what she needed to hear, but only what she wanted to hear.
I have been in therapy for two years now, and have finally reached the point where I’m learning to say no. I love that when I meet strangers, I can use the skills I’m learning and be more assertive.
My friends and family are having a hard time with it. I broke up with the bestie because our relationship had been not only long, but also toxic and abusive. Other people I come in contact with now seem shocked if I say no or voice an opinion of my own. They then proceed to pressure me to change my mind, which makes me transform back into a mouse and comply so I won’t seem rude. How can I get them to understand — in a polite way — that I am changing for the better, which includes putting myself, my needs and my decisions between yes and no first?
—Looking Out For Number One DEAR LOOKING OUT: You and your therapist appear to have been doing some good work. Of course people who hear you say no or state your honest opinion are having trouble with it. That’s not the person you were. You are becoming a new person, someone with whom they are not used to dealing. Keep in mind that when someone asks you to do something you would rather not do, you always have the right to refuse. And when you are pressured to change your opinion, what you should say is, “Intelligent minds can differ,” or, “I’m entitled to my opinion.” It’s the truth.
We have as diverse, wide-ranging and eclectic a group of movies debuting this week as we’ve probably gotten since theaters reopened amid the (somewhat) weakening Covid crisis. From sci-fi epics and animation to two very different films highlighting the Black experience in American history, all the way to the latest from the literally incomparable Wes Anderson – there’s truly something for everyone.
Let’s use these as our inspiration for this week’s quiz. Questions may trace connections between movies new and old, relate to prior films from actors or directors in the current lineup, or even involve lyrics from a famous song.
1. “Ron’s Gone Wrong ” is the very first movie from British computer-animation company, Locksmith Animation. Which of these other featurelength firsts from their respective animation companies made the most money at the box office, when adjusted for inflation? A. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” Walt Disney Productions (now Walt Disney Animation Studios) B. “Toy Story,” Pixar Animation Studios C. “Open Season,” Sony Pictures Animation D. “Ice Age,” Blue Sky Animation
2. Filmed in 2019, this week’s “Passing ” – based on Nella Larsen’s 1929 novel about two mixedrace women and childhood friends who reunite in the 1920s, where one of them is passing as white – is the directorial debut for actress Rebecca Hall (“Frost/nixon,” “The Night House”). She starred as one of the title characters in what Oscar-winning 2008 film that also featured Javier Bardem, one of the cast members of this week’s “Dune”?
3. Even for a Wes Anderson film, the new “The French Dispatch” has an unusually star-studded cast. Which of the following actors from the film is NOT marking their first appearance in a movie directed by Anderson: Benicio del Toro; Elisabeth Moss; Henry Winkler; Timothée Chalamet; Lois Smith; Christoph Waltz; Willem Dafoe; or Jeffrey Wright?
4. In “The Harder They Fall” – the new western with a mostly Black cast – Jonathan Majors plays real-life cowboy and Old West figure, Nat Love. Director Jeymes Samuel’s first film, 2013’s “They Die by Dawn,” was also a western and featured many of the same historical characters but played by different actors. Nat Love was portrayed then by what recently deceased actor, who subsequently played Majors’ father in the HBO series “Lovecraft Country”?
5. Benedict Cumberbatch stars in this week’s “The Electrical Life of Louis Wain” as the famed 19th and 20th-century painter of cats. But it’s not
the first real-life person he’s played in a movie dealing with “electricity.” Who was he in 2017’s “The Current War”?
6. Timothée Chalamet and Stephen Mckinley Henderson (famed for his decades of stage work in the plays of August Wilson) appear together in the new incarnation of “Dune.” But in what 2017 film, a breakout movie in a breakout year for Chalamet, were they both part of the cast?
7. Zach Galifianakis voices the part of the titular glitchy robot in “Ron’s Gone Wrong.” He’s played parts in previous animated films, but in which of these films did he NOT provide voice work? A “Puss in Boots” B. “Sing ” C. “The Lego Batman Movie” D. “Missing Link”
8. Ruth Negga’s character in “Passing ” is married to a white man, who believes she is white as well, while Bill Camp is a character modeled after real-life white author and patron of the Harlem Renaissance, Carl Van Vechten. This isn’t the first time Negga and Camp have appeared together in a movie dealing with race relations in a historical context, that also has a one-word title ending in “-ing.” In what Oscar-nominated 2016 film did they both appear?
9. “The French Dispatch” co-stars Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux and Jeffrey Wright are currently on big screens in another huge film, where they play characters they’ve played before. Name the movie.
10. The 1972 Jamaican crime film “The Harder They Come” is credited with bringing reggae music – and the realities of Jamaican life - to the rest of the world. The corresponding soundtrack album is considered one of the greatest albums of all time. Its title track’s lyrics go: “The harder they come, the harder they fall …” What reggae singer wrote and sang the tune, and played the movie’s lead role?