Job is only dead-end if you permit it to be
By rejecting co-worker’s negativity, position could pay off when your excellence and attitude get noticed
DEAR J.T. & DALE: Myself and another girl got hired for entry-level jobs at our company at the same time. It’s been made clear that there are no growth opportunities from this job. As a result, my co-worker blatantly talks about the other positions she’s applying for, even in front of our boss. I know my boss doesn’t like it. I agree; it seems disrespectful. I’m just afraid my boss thinks I’m the same way. Should I say something to my co-worker? Or should I talk to my boss about it? — Scarlett
Dale: Your co-worker is demonstrating an absolute lack of class. There are two responses: talk her down, or show her up. By the latter, I mean that you do the opposite of what she is doing: Embrace the job and make it more than it is. No job is dead-end without your permission. Your excellence and attitude will be noticed. Who knows? Another department could snatch you away. Your boss could be promoted and you could be his replacement. Or he might get a job at another company and take you along. The only way a job is dead-end is if you choose to be a zombie employee.
J.T.: In that spirit, I definitely would talk with your boss. Simply say that you want him to know that you are grateful for the job. You don’t need to mention what your co-worker said. The mere fact that you are making a point to let your boss know that you appreciate the opportunity will let him know that you want to distance yourself from how your co-worker acts. As for saying something to your co-worker — it’s not your business. You have your own career to worry about. And, candidly, your co-worker might not appreciate you sharing your opinion and that could hurt your working relationship.
Dear J.T. & Dale: My wife is the main breadwinner of our family; she makes four times what I do. She came home last week and told me that her company is in trouble and she may lose her job. She also said it’s likely she won’t get paid nearly what she’s getting now. I’m freaking out. I don’t have a way to make more money and we definitely live on her salary. I told her she should start looking for a new job. She told me she is too depressed, and wants to wait and see what happens. What can I do to persuade her to start looking? — Andrew
J.T.: There is nothing you can say to force your wife into a job search. Right now, she needs your support. She is processing her emotions and clearly feeling the stress. She doesn’t need more from you. At the same time, you need to take some responsibility for what could happen. Start looking at how you can cut expenses and come up with a contingency plan. Your wife will appreciate you looking for ways to minimize the impact of a job loss. That may be the positive motivation she needs to get out of the depression and start looking for a new job.
Dale: I can guess what you’re thinking in response to J.T.’s suggestion: You could work up a plan or budget so draconian that it will startle your wife into action. Let that thought pass, for you’re likely to accomplish just the opposite. What you don’t want for her — or for anyone in her situation — is to go into denial, narrowing her focus until attention is devoted solely to clinging to the job. The better response is to turn outward, to compile a list of target employers and reconnect with contacts. And that’s where you might come in. As part of being supportive, offer to help with researching potential employers. If she says yes and you do it well, you might be able to get her excited about what’s next. That’s the road that leads away from depression and fear, and it’s also the spirit to take into a successful job search. And, hey, Andrew, you might get so inspired that you try a job search of your own.
Jeanine “J.T.” Tanner O’Donnell is a professional development specialist and the founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell. Dale Dauten resolves employment and other business disputes as a mediator with AgreementHouse.com. Please visit them at jtanddale.com, where you can send questions via email, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 300 W. 57th St., 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019.