Low-key speech puzzling

I WAS SOMEWHAT disappointed in President Barack Obama’s farewell address. I thought for sure he would have visited all 57 states one last time so as to be regaled with parades and fundraising dinners.

Instead, he took the opportunity to stand before the adoring cameras of the liberal media to tell us once again that this country was still too white for his taste, too rich for our own good, and so racist and bigoted that we have learned nothing under his inspired tutelage.

Not since George Washington stood on the steps of Mount Vernon to tell us that horses should be shod have we received such insightful commentary.

He also took the time to warn us of the evil Donald Trump, the evil Russians, the evil computer hackers, and everything evil in the world who colluded to take over the reins of government. We must be on guard lest we lose freedom, liberty, and the great blessings of Obamacare. We must, we must.

I don’t know what a man of Obama’s stature will do now that he leaves office, but I think a turn as a Las Vegas magician would be in order given that he made $9 trillion of our printed money disappear into thin air. Or as a boxing referee as his military campaigns have caused so many conflicts to fester and grow. Or as an environmental engineer as he has the single-handed power to take carbon out of the atmosphere.

Nevertheless, his actions in his farewell acceptance speech were so low-key and non-Obama of him I had to scratch my head. I thought for sure he would have gone amidst the unwashed rabble one final time to give us the chance to touch the fabric of his well-tailored suit so that the infirmed might all be healed.