Shy guy needs help making impression
DEAR ABBY: My friend “Russ” is a sweet, quiet, reserved guy with a goofy side. He’s in his mid-20s, but has never kissed a girl or gone out on a date. (He is the kind of person girls regard as a brother figure.) He has no confidence and doesn’t drink, dance or let loose. I have seen his dating profiles, and they are brutally unappealing.
I want to help Russ find someone. I hate seeing him lonely. He needs someone to give him a chance and help him learn to be more confident. I know it’s wrong to try to change someone, but I feel if he doesn’t get some help, no one will ever give him the time of day. He needs a sense of adventure and, frankly, a change of wardrobe.
How can I help this “good boy” get the attention of the ladies? AMANDA IN WYOMING
DEAR AMANDA: You are a good friend. Talk to Russ and ask if he would be open to a bit of “coaching” to improve his social life. Tell him you have seen his dating profiles and offer to help him tweak them. If new photos are needed, suggest you go shopping together for a new outfit (or two), so he will have a more “contemporary” look. If he needs to learn to dance, show him some steps.
He may accept some help if you approach the subject with sensitivity. However, I’m not sure how much more than that you can do because, in the end, Russ is going to have to find a girl whose values mirror his own.
DEAR ABBY: Our 2-year-old granddaughter is using “dirty words” during her visits with us. We have tried ignoring her, and also popping her on the bottom while saying “no.” Her mother uses this language, so this situation is very confusing for our granddaughter. Please help. CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONFUSED: Someone needs to explain to the mother that the “dirty words” her daughter is learning are sure to create problems for her when she’s in school. Perhaps it will be the wakeup call she needs to clean up her vocabulary.
However, if that isn’t effective, then it’s up to you to teach your granddaughter that dirty words cannot be used in your home. Reward her when she remembers, remind her when she forgets and institute penalties if it persists. That’s how kids learn.
DEAR ABBY: Do you field more questions from unmarried couples living together than from married couples? I can only judge from what is printed. INQUISITIVE IN VIRGINIA
DEAR INQUISITIVE: That’s an interesting question. Frankly, I have never broken down the letters into categories like “married” or “cohabiting.” Many people live together before marriage today, but eventually progress to formalizing their relationship. Others do not. Married or not, their relationship questions interest me, or I wouldn’t print them. Contact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.