Wife is surprised husband seeks men
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 35 years. Our sex life was never very active, but we have been each other’s soulmates and best friends. We had a rough few years early on, but managed to come back together, and our relationship is great.
Recently, while I was setting up new email addresses, I saw some messages he had sent in response to requests from married men looking for sex with other men. I just can’t reconcile this with the man I know. I’m not sure if I should tell him I know, or if I should try to forget it. After all, I may be the reason he’s looking for sexual satisfaction elsewhere. More than anything, I’m surprised he’s not looking for a woman. What should I do? SOULMATES IN TEXAS
DEAR SOULMATES: I seriously doubt that this is your fault. Your husband doesn’t look for women to satisfy his sex drive because his orientation may be homosexual (or bisexual) rather than heterosexual.
Soulmates and best friends communicate honestly with each other. I do think you should level with him about what you discovered. Is his having sex outside of your marriage all right with you? If you have had sexual relations with him over the last few years, make an appointment to be checked for STDs.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 30-year-old woman who has been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He’s a great guy who treats me wonderfully. I know he sees marriage in our future, and that’s where my problem lies.
I’ve heard the saying that one should only marry someone if one can’t imagine life without that person. Well, if I picture my life without him, I see myself being perfectly fine. Yes, I’d miss him, but I still think I could be happy without him. I don’t imagine ever feeling devastated like other people feel. Is this a sign that something is missing from the relationship? STILL ALL RIGHT IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR STILL ALL RIGHT: I don’t think so. The only thing that’s “missing” is the fact that you are not so emotionally dependent on your boyfriend that you couldn’t function if something were to happen to him. And in my opinion, that’s actually healthy, because relationships and marriages don’t last forever, even when we wish them to.
DEAR ABBY: I have been wondering if there is any rule of etiquette about who should greet whom first when a co-worker arrives at the workplace. Should the working person greet the incoming person first, or the other way around? CURIOUS GEORGE
DEAR GEORGE: In cases like this, the more outgoing co-worker usually says hello first. If you are standing on ceremony waiting to be greeted, speak up.