Cut off cellphone to rein in daughter

DEAR ABBY: I need advice on how to deal with my 18-year-old daughter. A few months ago she was ready to go to college. Then she met this guy via Snapchat. He’s unemployed, lives with a friend who is under house arrest, has a criminal record and has nothing to offer her.

Two weeks ago, she packed her stuff and left with him. She has no job, has spent all of her graduation money and is running up our cellphone bill while living with him. My wife is a wreck, and we don’t know what to do. — DAD IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR DAD: I empathize with your concern for your daughter, but she is immature and in love. Because she’s 18 you can’t drag her back home. Tell her that now she has “declared her independence and moved out,” you will no longer pay her cellphone bill. I’m guessing she’ll be back.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 50-year-old male who has been dating a younger girl (28) for a year now. Everything has been great with her except for one thing. I am a virgin.

We recently discussed having relations and both agree that we want to. There’s just one problem. I have really talked myself up. I lied and told her I am much larger than I actually am. Abby, I am terrified she’ll dump me after she sees me. Please give me some advice. — NEEDS HELP FAST

DEAR NEEDS HELP: From what my “sexperts” tell me, many men at one time or another needlessly worry about their size. It’s very important before you embark on any adventure with this woman that you level with her. Perhaps the story of Pinocchio would be a logical place to start.

DEAR ABBY: After planning to not have children, my partner and I had to adopt one of his family members. It was us or an unsafe situation.

I have never had an interest in children. After a few years, I still have no interest in parenting. I work long hours, so my partner does most of it, but he is better at it, so it makes sense.

I ensure that the child’s needs are met. I organize events, take him to point A or B, but have no interest in bonding or spending time with him, which I feel some guilt about. Deep down, I resent having been forced to take on a responsibility I never wanted in the first place. Is it good enough to provide a safe, stable home with opportunities for a child, but not to love or form a special connection with him? — RELUCTANT PARENT IN TEXAS

DEAR RELUCTANT: It appears it’s going to have to be. We don’t have to love everyone, but we do have to treat them well, which you have done to the best of your ability. But recognize that if you are truly unable to form an emotional bond with the child, his only attachment will be to your partner. And because of all the effort you HAVE put into raising him, it’s rather sad — for you.