THE LIGHTER SIDE

BEVERLY HILLS — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

House Republicans revealed to reporters that they fear for their personal safety if they repeal Obamacare. It’s turned out to be the perfect racket. Only a president from Chicago could figure out a way to cause House Republicans to need Obamacare if they ever repeal Obamacare.

Senate Democrats called off their planned allnight filibuster against Tom Price’s nomination for HHS Secretary. They’re all still livid over Hillary losing to Trump. Democrats will never forgive Donald Trump for being the first man in history to win an argument with a woman.

Time magazine detailed the decline of capital punishment in the United States over the last 15 years. Since 1700, we’ve used burning, hanging, gas chamber, electrocution and lethal injection. Mississippi is bringing back the firing squad like Utah, except in Utah they offer you a last milkshake.

Russia’s president Vladimir Putin will play in an exhibition hockey game in Moscow in March with former NHL players. It’s chancy. Putin’s last three critics have died of poisoning, so you know the opposing goalie is going to think twice before using the water fountain in the visitor’s locker room. Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.http://www.argushamilton.com/media.htm