THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

George Clooney gave an interview in France and called President Trump a Hollywood elitist. The term is loosely defined as top-level producers, directors, stars, actors and comedians who are always fighting their inner demons. A few years ago, I stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.

Lindsay Lohan told “Good Morning Britain” that she was racially profiled at London airport for wearing a headscarf. England doesn’t profile white people; England is the founder of white people. Putting Lohan on a live TV show is like handing Harrison Ford the keys to the space shuttle.

Department of Homeland Security’s John Kelly has unleashed agents to deport more undocumented immigrants. Los Angeles is very nervous. The “Variety” classifieds are advertising for a white guy to accept the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film on behalf of the producer and director who couldn’t be with us here tonight.

NASA scientists discovered seven planets about the same size as Earth orbiting a star 40 light-years away. A telescopic probe and climate assessment show they could sustain life. Within hours, President Trump imposed a travel ban from those seven planets until the aliens can be vetted properly.