N.M. wife grossed out by ‘toilet texting’
DEAR ABBY: My husband is obsessed with his personal electronic devices and insists on using one most of the time. He gets angry if I ask him to stop even for a short time. But the worst part is, he routinely takes his tablet into the bathroom with him for extended periods. And no, he does not sanitize the tablet afterward or ever, for that matter.
Abby, he reads your column and I’m hoping you might comment on this unsafe and repulsive habit. Please help, because he won’t listen to me. GROSSED OUT IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR GROSSED OUT: Because your husband gets angry when you ask him to put his electronics down, it appears he may have an obsession. Not only is what he’s doing rude, but it isn’t healthy for your marriage because communication is important between spouses. When he takes his tablet into the bathroom “for a long time,” could he be viewing or texting things he wants to keep from you?
As to his hygiene habits, smartphones and tablets can be more unhygienic than toilet seats if they’re used for “toilet texting.” The user’s hands should be washed afterward, and the device should be disinfected, too — particularly if it will be in contact with the face.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old woman who recently got out of a six-year abusive relationship. While I was in the relationship, no one knew what was going on. When I finally left him, I started dating a man of a different race. People are now saying I moved too fast because we got together a month after I moved out. But we had been close friends for more than a year before things kicked off.
The issue is, my family disapproves of our relationship because of his race and because they believe he didn’t give me enough time to figure out what I wanted. I feel like I already knew what I wanted. I had been emotionally done with my first relationship for a good six months. My family refuses to meet him, nor do they want to hear anything about our relationship. My family and I had always been close until now.
I am happy with my new boyfriend (even my grandma sees a difference). I just wish I knew how to get my family to understand and agree to meet him. What can I do? READY IN OHIO
DEAR READY: If you are open to a suggestion, because you were in an abusive relationship for so long, talk with a licensed psychotherapist about it. You were unhappy for a long time, and it’s possible that the difference your grandmother is seeing is partly fueled by adrenaline.
You are an adult and you deserve to be happy. If this man makes you feel that way, then more power to him. Take things slowly, enjoy the relationship, and perhaps with time your family will come around.