THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Las Vegas marijuana stores are ■ bracing for business Saturday when recreational pot sales become legal in Nevada. This changes everything. After 60 years, the legalization of marijuana marks the end of the all-you-can-eat buffets if the hotels want to stay in the food business.

President Trump met with South Korea’s

■ president Thursday to sell him on the U.S. antimissile defense system that could shoot down North Korean missiles early. It takes a missile 30 minutes to go from North Korea to Los Angeles. That’s faster than it takes a car to go from Los Angeles to Los Angeles.

President Trump gave Senate Republicans a

■ deadline of today to devise a GOP health care bill that can pass. Obamacare will soon run out of money. No one wants to say that America’s health care system looks doomed, but Warren Buffett just purchased a controlling interest in Christian Science.

When the tactic didn’t poll well, Senate Democrats ■ stopped saying hundreds of thousands of Americans would die if the GOP plan passes. No one likes to be reminded of his or her own mortality. My father stopped playing golf at 80, because he didn’t like to be near that many holes in the ground. Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. Email him at Argus@ArgusHamilton. com.