THIS WEEK’S WINNERS

“I’ve been in Albuquerque for 15 minutes and my Harley was stolen right from under me.”

ARTHUR D. ORTEGA, Albuquerque “If I turn my poles to the North I can get a clear picture on Channel 2.”

DOUG AUSTEN, Albuquerque A model demonstrating the new-andimproved way to protest during the anthem: the half-squat. Helmet required. Training poles optional.

WILLIAM LEDFORD, Albuquerque Hillary prepares for the 2020 race. JAKE ABERNATHY, Bosque Farms At White House modeling slippery slope apparel. Yes, it comes in extra large. ALLEN B. ARCHAMBAULT, Albuquerque “Look guys, these Olympic photo ops don’t pay my rent. Last time when my sacroiliac went out it was three months before I got out of this pose.”

JERRY W. HILSENHOFF, Albuquerque Former HHS Secretary Tom Price finds a new mode of transportation.

CLAY K. BENARD, Albuquerque “I would stand up for the flag, but I’ve been in this position so long that I can’t.” GIL P. SUNIGA, Albuquerque The IVANKA TRUMP label reads: Made in China. WALLACE K. KULIGOWSKI, Albuquerque Joe Hernandez, winter Olympics hopeful, mulls the new national anthem: “JOSE CAN YOU SKI”?! TODD TIBBALS, Albuquerque “Perfect! Now lose the suction cups and blow in the fake snow!”

CHERYL K. HAAKER, Albuquerque He has a better chance of “Making America Great Again” than our current leader.

KATE J. KULIGOWSKI, Albuquerque