Consider experiential gift for happy couple

Spending on a wedding can easily get out of control for the two people who are tying the knot, their families, the wedding party and the guests.

That’s something for your kids to keep in mind if their social calendar is filled with wedding invitations for the fall and winter.

My kids have lamented more than once the cost of friends’ weddings. Expenses can include bachelor or bachelorette parties, shower presents, wedding gifts, new clothes, hotel rooms, airfare and rental car costs.

Recently, the LendEDU financial services firm looked at how much people tend to spend if they’re going to a wedding. The company surveyed 1,000 people online ages 18 and up and asked them: Have you gone to, or are you planning to attend, a wedding in 2017? And if so, how much money did you spend?

The average price per wedding for a guest was $1,386.22, when all expenses were considered. LendEDU said that included wedding gifts, clothes, miscellaneous expenses and travel.

Plane tickets, rental cars, gas and hotel rates amounted to an average of $529.38 per wedding, making it the biggest overall expense.

Guests said they spent $329.55 on average on a wedding gift, and $303.62 went toward miscellaneous expenses, including manicures and pedicures. Clothing was the cheapest of all wedding-related expenses, at $223.67 per wedding guest.

This was the first year for the survey by LendEDU, so there were no other years to review. But the results mirror trends from other surveys I found from recent years.

Your kids don’t have to take a financial hit to participate in their friends’ special day. There are plenty of ways to minimize the spending without spoiling a good time.

For example, if a couple is honeymooning at a resort, a gift of money could be used by the newlyweds for dinner or an activity such as snorkeling or whale watching.

That’s what my daughter did for a friend who got married last summer. The bride and groom didn’t want fancy china, nice towels or kitchen supplies. Instead, they asked for cash to spend on their Hawaii honeymoon.

Many millennials who are tying the knot are interested in such experiential gifts. The site Traveler’s Joy, for example, has hosted more than 328,000 couples since 2004 and provides several destination guides and sample registries, Money.com reports. Another popular site, Honeyfund, says its couples have collectively received $415 million toward honeymoon costs.

Many studies are showing that experiences bring people more enduring happiness than things, according to research from Cornell University psychology professor Thomas Gilovich.

For another approach, try gift cards. At Honeyfund, you can buy a gift card redeemable with partners such as Amazon, Delta Air Lines, Uber, Hotels.com and other travel companies, restaurants and retailers.

If purchasing from a wedding registry — and 33 percent of the LendEDU survey participants did exactly that — buy your gift early to get a wider range of choices and prices. Better yet, use the registry to get ideas for gifts, but purchase it elsewhere if you can save some money. I doubt that the happy couple will care where the gift was purchased.

You also can save money by checking to see if a block of hotel rooms has been set up by the couple to get a less expensive rate. Or get a group of friends and find a house or apartment on HomeAway or Airbnb with multiple bedrooms. Save even more money by cooking in the kitchen of your rental place.

Consider renting a dress or suit at Rent the Runway or The Mister Collection. If you have a nice suit or sport coat, consider changing out the shirt and tie.

For gifts, go in with a group, especially if the purchase involves something like china or silver. The couple likely will be pleased to have several complete table settings for their new home.

Questions, comments, column ideas? Send an email to sbrosen1030@gmail.com.