THE LIGHTER SIDE
God bless America, and how’s everybody?
New York Democrats and activists gathered in a Manhattan park Wednesday to scream at the sky together to protest the anniversary of Trump’s election. He’s obviously protected by a higher power. At China’s state banquet on Thursday, Trump’s fortune cookie told him to avoid grassy knolls.
President Trump was given a tour of the Great Wall of China during his trip to Beijing this past week. It’s a myth you can see the Great Wall from the International Space Station — it’s the San Diego Freeway that’s visible from up there. The foot and vehicle traffic move at about the same speed.
The NAACP claimed the Star Spangled Banner is racist Thursday. The third verse denounces slaves who joined the British side in exchange for their freedom during the War of 1812. Jerry Jones just ordered for the third verse to be sung instead of the first verse at all Dallas Cowboys home games.
California activists are collecting signatures for a ballot measure for California to secede from the U.S. The new citizenship test asks if you’d support the California constitution, if you’d accept racial equality, and if you’d watch Harvey Weinstein take a shower for a three-picture deal. If you can answer yes to any two of those three questions, you would pass the California citizenship test. Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. Email him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.