THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez’ jury hung on his corruption charge, while GOP candidate Roy Moore denied charges of chasing underage girls. In the old days, it was Republicans who had financial scandals and Democrats who had sex scandals. It’s great to see we’ve gotten past those old stereotypes.

Congress faced a public outcry over the millions of dollars the U.S. paid out in sexual harassment claims against members in hushed-up settlements. This calls for the marijuana ballot argument. We must legalize sexual harassment and tax it really high, that way it will help our schools.

The U.S. Senate this week takes up the Housepassed tax cuts proposed by President Trump, but the senators are nowhere near finished adding their ideas to the bill. It happens every time. What started out as a comprehensive tax cut for middleclass Americans will turn out to be a dam in Idaho.

President Trump responded to the public outcry of wildlife advocates and reversed his previous executive order that would allow the U.S. importation of elephant tusks from Africa. He decided to spare the elephants. It proves once and for all that President Trump is no Teddy Roosevelt.

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.