Mentor mistakes
Things to avoid when trying to find a professional adviser
The benefits of having a mentor are numerous. He or she can guide you on important decisions, offer a fresh, outsider perspective and inspire you.
But people often make mistakes in their search that not only limit them but also make the potential mentor less likely to engage with the mentee on growing his or her business. Here are a few mistakes to avoid when looking for a mentor.
1. Being demanding
“Will you be my mentor?” can be a dreaded question. While it may be flattering, it implies a time commitment that people may not have. It can also be a lot of pressure.
Asking if you can pick someone’s brain is a major irritant for some professionals. Respect people’s time and the fact that they get paid for their knowledge and skills.
Instead, build a relationship and ask one or two specific questions. If you can do a bit of research and ask a concrete question that is relevant to the person you admire, you’re more likely to be heard and answered (plus it shows that you did your homework).
Be engaging with his or her work. It’s easier to speak to people when I know they are being genuine about how my work is relevant to them. However, don’t have expectations on who they are and what they should be to you.
2. Overlooking places you already visit
This may be a given, but engaging with people at places you frequent can open up unexpected doors. The gym, favorite pizza place, your place of worship or even your niece’s birthday party may all be good places to connect. I recently made several connections with local business leaders at a wine-tasting event.
However, be aware of the appropriate time and place to approach. You don’t want to come off as needy or aggressive.
Having a natural conversation and letting the topic come up on its own can lead to a much better and more willing connection.
3. Limiting your search to someone older or more experienced than you
You may have an image of a mentor being a wise, older person who has 25plus years of experience. While that is impressive, it isn’t necessarily great for you. They may not be able to relate to the issues that you are experiencing. I’ve learned important lessons from my own peers because they were facing similar challenges.
Colleagues who are on a junior level may have excellent insight on consumer demands, or you may find inspiration from the young couple who opened their second restaurant down the street. Don’t underestimate what people around you are doing. Their insight may be more relevant to you than you realize.
4. Focusing on one person
No matter how amazing a mentor is, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. A mentor might be great at seeing opportunities but terrible at understanding the financial risks involved. Realizing and understanding that can help you look for the right people for the right tasks.
Perhaps your hairstylist is great at marketing while your local coffee shop owner is skilled at branding. Building relationships with them can provide a new perspective and they may even be able to connect you to someone else. The point is to build a network of people who can share their lessons and experiences with you.
5. Avoiding distance
It’s understandable to feel that the relationship between a mentor and mentee is strongest if the two of you are in the same location. Sure, it may be convenient but it is definitely not necessary. In fact, it may be more helpful to have a mentor who is hundreds of miles away. It may be easier for him or her to schedule a phone call with you rather than having to find a time and place to meet in your city.
A mentor also may live somewhere that is helpful to you. For instance, perhaps he or she worked with local officials to get better sidewalks or more parking spaces. The mentor can offer advice on how to connect with your own officials and get the funding for special projects.
6. Ignoring other channels of communication
Mentors don’t have to be people you’ve met. I’ve been mentored by books and speeches from people I don’t know who sometimes weren’t even in the business world. People can inspire and share some of their best ideas this way.
It takes time and effort to produce media that can be shared with the public. Often this media contain important lessons. Try podcasts, especially if you can listen while commuting or going for a daily run.
There is no doubt that a mentor can have a positive impact on you and your business. Mentors are there to teach and share what they’ve discovered. Fortunately, we have technology and resources that allow us to learn and connect with people all over the globe.
John DiScala writes the travel newsletter Johnny Jet.