THIS WEEK’S WINNERS

“OK, Gabriel. Everything’s ready for the welcome home party. Go get Billy.”

JONATHAN W. LEE, Albuquerque

“You said ‘build it and they will come.’ Well now what next ... an ART project?”

ARTHUR D. ORTEGA, Albuquerque

Motel 6’s Tom Bodett left the lights on, but nobody came.

GIL P. SUNIGA, Albuquerque

Men’s seating at the Academy Awards #MeToo banquet.

CLAY K. BENARD, Albuquerque

Trump’s 2020 campaign kickoff dinner.

JAKE ABERNATHY, Bosque Farms

“We simply do not have enough chairs for all the former Trump staffers!”

JAY S. NORTH, Albuquerque

Records reveal that Russia just booked this room — with a professional discount — for its coming seminar on perfecting electronic

hacking in America’s next elections.

WALLACE K. KULIGOWSKI, Albuquerque

“Students, tonight’s dinner menu will be baked tilapia in onionliver sauce, green beans, smashed potatoes and tepid tea. You may all be seated ... is there anyone in here?”

BOB RAKOCZY, Albuquerque

“This is the Kremlin Great Hall of Fame ... uh ... Shame, where I signed all those business deals.” — Donald J. Trump

SHLOMO KARNI, Albuquerque

Trump’s grand ballroom — as empty as his grand promises!

LINDA KAY LIVINGSTON, Albuquerque

Trump’s friends will enjoy this room BIGLY!

INEZ SISNEROS, Belen

“President Trump’s Birthday Gala Poorly Attended”

WALTER RICH, Albuquerque

Having finished redecorating his office, Dr. Ben Carson spiffs up the staff cafeteria.

CHERYL K. HAAKER, Albuquerque

A new restaurant will open in Albuquerque featuring gourmet redgreen New Mexico chile cuisine.

FLETCHER L. WILSON, Albuquerque

President Trump recently set another attendance record.

JANE A. PAPPAS, Albuquerque