THE LIGHTER SIDE
Happy Palm Sunday, everybody, and God Bless America.
■ The London Daily Mail reported that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle selected Lemon Elderflower cake for their wedding in London. You have to respect her. Meghan Markle was the only celebrity to keep her promise to leave the United States if Donald Trump were elected president.
■ Comedian Byron Allen bought the Weather Channel for $300M on Friday. It’s the only TV channel everyone visits. He learned at the Comedy Store that people will pay $20 a ticket to laugh, and that about the only other thing they want to know is if it’s going to rain tomorrow.
■ Joe Biden threatened to beat up President Trump in a fist fight behind the gym Friday. Trump replied that Biden would go down fast. Our nation owes a great debt of gratitude to Joe Biden and Donald Trump for taking Washington politics and raising it to the level of professional wrestling.
■ CNN president Jeff Zucker called Fox News a Trump propaganda machine Friday and said that Trump’s past infidelity is no joking matter. It’s not? A porn star, an “Apprentice” contestant and a Playboy Playmate walk into a bar, and the bartender tells them the courthouse is across the street.
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups around the country. Email him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.