Family can exclude grabby ‘lady’ friend
DEAR ABBY: I need advice badly. A close family member has been living with a woman who sexually assaults people by grabbing their genitalia, kissing them forcibly on the mouth and touching their buttocks. She’s completely without boundaries.
We have an important family event coming up and have decided not to invite her because we don’t feel safe around her. The close family member is incensed with us, furious even. He chalks his girlfriend’s transgressions up to “medical events.”
Abby, are we right to not allow her to be part of situations where she will undoubtedly behave like this? Or must we “just accept it and move on,” in spite of being well aware of her pattern of behavior? — ANONYMOUS
DEAR ANONYMOUS: Do not allow yourselves to be forced into anything that would make any of you uncomfortable. Unless this family member can GUARANTEE that his “lady” friend will not disrupt the festivities by acting out, she should not be invited.
DEAR ABBY: What is proper when hosting guests from out of state? In a few months, two different relatives will be visiting me separately, each for two weeks. For years it has been my custom to go to church early on Sunday and then to brunch with friends. I don’t mind giving up the brunch, but I don’t want to miss church for an entire month.
One relative is a non-churchgoer, and the other is a Jehovah’s Witness. Neither will attend with me even though I invite them. How do I handle this?
— CHURCH OR NO CHURCH
DEAR C. OR N.C.: Having houseguests does not mean you are shackled together the entire time they stay with you. They already know you like to attend church.
Handle the situation by telling them you will be going to early services on Sunday and then to brunch afterward. If you’re worried about feeding your houseguests, tell them there will be lox, bagels and cream cheese waiting in the fridge when they get up — something from almost every food group.
DEAR ABBY: I’m dating a man who insists that I pay for our dinners every time he comes to visit. He doesn’t even offer. One time when I didn’t pick up the check he reached across the table and handed it to me. I’m not sure how to handle this.
— WORTH A TREAT IN WEST VIRGINIA
DEAR WORTH A TREAT: The next time this user comes to visit and hands you the check, hand it BACK and walk out of the restaurant. If he claims to have “forgotten his wallet” as well as his manners, stop dating him.
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