THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

President Trump used an Indiana rally Friday to recount a list of his recent accomplishments and decisions for an hour without using any notes. This is why I love the guy. Donald Trump, who ended up paying $130,000 for sex, called Iran the worst deal ever.

North Korea agreed to allow three captive Americans to fly home after three years of solitary confinement. When they walked off the plane in Washington, D.C., and saw Donald Trump waiting for them, they were just thrilled. They thought they were going to get to be on “The Apprentice.”

Women’s Health magazine printed a study showing married women on average weigh more than single women. It’s easy to see why. Single women go home, see what’s in the refrigerator and then go to bed, while the married women go home, see what’s in the bed, and then go to the refrigerator.

Homeland Security head Kirstjen Nielsen survived a Trump tongue-lashing Thursday over the continued border crossings. He’s already fired a record number of advisers and Cabinet members. Trump’s problem is that of all the people around him, the only one who won’t go away is Stormy Daniels.