Man’s choice: wife or pregnant mistress

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 13 years and have two beautiful children. I recently found out that for the last two years, he has been having an affair, and his mistress is now three months pregnant.

When I confronted him about the situation, he claimed he doesn’t know what to do. I have told him I’m willing to work things out and be supportive of the child, but the affair has to stop. The problem is, he’s having a hard time letting go. He says he’s in love with both of us.

I love my husband deeply and do not want to throw it all away for a mistake that I, too, once made. Please give me some advice. LOST IN LOVE IN HOUSTON

DEAR LOST: Insist that you and your husband talk with a licensed marriage and family therapist to see if you can get your marriage back on track. While it may be possible to be in love with two women at the same time, here in the USA plural marriage is frowned upon.

Texas is a community property state, so it’s important that you understand what that will mean to you and your children financially should a divorce become necessary. Discuss this with a lawyer, so you know your options.

Your husband KNOWS what he should do; he just doesn’t want to do it. Trust me on that.

DEAR ABBY: I have the sweetest boyfriend I’ll call “Earl.” He’s 58. I’m a widow and have been with him for two years. Earl loves me, helps me and goes out with me wherever I want to go. One problem: He flirts with other women.

It can be family, neighbors, clerks, waitresses, etc. He calls them “sweetheart,” “baby,” “darling,” etc. He pours on the charm and even follows them around to help them with whatever they are doing. I am not threatened, but I get really embarrassed. I have also noticed that Earl has no male friends and seems to avoid them.

When we are alone, it’s all about me. He treats me wonderfully, but get another woman around and he goes nuts. What’s going on with this man? PUT OFF IN PHOENIX

DEAR PUT OFF: Earl may be less confident in the company of other men, or he may consider them competition for the attention of women. Or, he may need to constantly ingratiate and prove his attractiveness to himself.

If you really want to know what’s going on with Earl, ask HIM to explain it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter graduated more than two years ago. I offered to help her with her thank-you notes, but I dropped the ball and never got them completed and sent out. I feel terrible and guilty.

Would it be wrong to send out letters to everyone and explain what happened? PROUD MAMA

DEAR PROUD MAMA: The task of writing thankyou letters was your daughter’s responsibility from the start. She should send them out right away, with her apologies. Better late than never.