Albuquerque Journal

Man has misgivings about naughty talk

- Abigail Van Buren Contact www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 25 years and have three adult children who no longer live with us. We are religious and belong to a conservati­ve church.

We have a satisfying sex life. About 15 years ago we started using graphic language during lovemaking. We find it exhilarate­s and enhances our experience. We do not call each other names; we use graphic words to express how good we feel. The excitement I feel from this is cheaper than Viagra.

Is what we are doing wrong? I worry about what would happen if our closest religious friends knew. Would they feel the same way toward us? I believe words become wrong when they are used for the wrong motive. When I use them with my wife for better sex, my motive is pure. Do you think other religious couples enjoy this activity? — BEDROOM SECRET IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR SECRET: Unless your religious friends have a hidden listening device in your bedroom, your worries are groundless. What happens in the bedroom between two adults — as long as it is consensual and hurts neither one — is OK and nobody else’s business. As to whether other religious married couples do something similar to what you and your wife are doing, I think the odds are pretty good they are doing that and more.

DEAR ABBY: My younger brother has been with his girlfriend for three years off and on. He’s 22; she’s 19. He joined the Army during one of their breakups. (Being in the military was something he had wanted to do since he could talk.)

When he was away, she mentally abused him because she “doesn’t trust other people.” My brother has told me he’s only with her because she has nobody else. (She comes from a dysfunctio­nal family.) She doesn’t allow him to have any kind of social life.

She’s now pregnant with what we believe is not my brother’s child, given they had broken up and the day they got back together, BAM! she’s pregnant. The dates don’t add up.

This is affecting his relationsh­ip with our family and his lifelong buddies. He’s my only brother, and I don’t want to just flush our relationsh­ip as siblings, but I’m exhausted. What do I do? — TIRED IN THE EAST

DEAR TIRED: Your family should talk to your brother as a group and discuss your concerns. His girlfriend is immature, insecure and controllin­g. He will be under her thumb for a lifetime if they marry. Ask him to clarify how honest he was when he said he was with her only because she had no one else.

He may be so physically attracted to her he can’t think straight, which is why he seems to be willing to accept her manipulati­on and control. He should not support the baby without first talking to an attorney and insisting on a paternity test.

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