Man starts affairs with married women
DEAR ABBY: My son has taken it upon himself to get romantically involved with two different married women. He’s newly divorced after a long marriage and hates the idea of being alone. He says he loves them both, but realizes there’s no future with either one, so he’s trying to extricate himself from the jam he’s gotten into. The problem is, the women refuse to let go, and it’s causing all sorts of problems. Any ideas?
— DAD IN THE MIDDLE IN NEW YORK
DEAR DAD: If you are smart, you’ll stay out of this mess. Hasn’t it occurred to you that if your son was truly unhappy with the situation, he — not you — would have sought help for his problem?
He doesn’t love those women; he loves what he’s getting from them — attention, companionship, sex. Because they are married, he doesn’t have to worry about them wanting a commitment as a single woman might. If he really wanted to stop them from “stalking” him, he would threaten to make their husbands aware of what’s been going on, and THAT would be the end of it.
DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer. My two older sisters are away in college, and my dad works all the time. How should I balance taking care of Mom, doing schoolwork and playing field hockey? I wish I could give each task my full attention, but I’m not going to be home much because of school. — JUGGLING IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR JUGGLING: I am sure your mother’s diagnosis has caused stress for every member of your family, including those who are away, and for that I am sorry. I can only imagine the stress you are feeling.
If you were discussing this with your mother, I am sure she would tell you — as I am — how important it is that you keep up with your schoolwork and activities. You cannot assume the entire responsibility for her care. Who will help her during her treatments, and how much time you should realistically devote, is something both your parents should help you to determine. None of you will really know how much assistance she’ll require, so be flexible and take things a step at a time.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a first-time writer to your column. I’m mentally disabled, have MD (muscular dystrophy) and am diabetic. I take a lot of medication. When people ask me why I don’t work or “Where do you work?” what should I say? When I say I don’t work and that I’m disabled, they look at me funny and don’t believe it. WENDY IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR WENDY: You are not obligated to disclose your medical history to people you know casually. (If they knew you well, they wouldn’t be asking those questions.) All you need to say is, “You know, that’s personal. If you’ll forgive me for not answering your question, I’ll forgive you for asking.” Then change the subject.
Contact www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.