THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

■ President Trump helped elect GOP Senate candidate Cindy Hyde-Smith with two speeches on election eve. He jokingly told the crowd in Tupelo that he looked like Elvis when he was a teenager, which was a bit reckless. It’s a crime in Mississippi to take Jesus’ or Elvis’ name in vain.

■ President Trump caught mounting criticism from Democrats and Republicans on Capitol Hill Tuesday over his tolerance toward the Saudis’ killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi. The Saudi murders continued Tuesday. They killed the Chevy Volt with $2-a-gallon gas.

■ The Coast Guard found a turtle off Cape Cod with $53 million worth of cocaine inside a waterproof container that had gotten attached to the turtle. It’s self-explanatory. This is the kind of delivery service you get when you don’t sign up for the prime option with your drug dealer.

■ The Weather Channel said this week’s snowstorm in the Midwest shut down Chicago airports and canceled 600 flights. It blanketed the nation’s midsection. The snowdrifts in Kansas are so big you can ski on them this weekend, but everybody’s going to Colorado for the pot.

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups around the country. Email him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.