THE LIGHTER SIDE
God bless America, and how’s everybody?
ABC News reported that a Southwest flight skidded off the runway while landing at Burbank Airport during Thursday’s rainstorms in the San Fernando Valley. The passengers are very lucky they were flying Southwest. United would have charged everybody a $25 excitement fee.
The Pentagon was faced with an obesity statistic released Thursday saying that 27 percent of young people are too fat to serve in the U.S. Army. We should allow fat people to serve in the military anyway. We can still fight the Russians in the Ukraine until it starts to get a little hilly.
Kevin Hart’s choice as Oscars host drew Hollywood protests because he has engaged in domestic violence, cheated on his wife while she was pregnant and made disparaging remarks about gays. It’s a sensitive world. The NFL just suspended Hart six games in case he ever thinks about playing football.
Nancy Pelosi refused to link border wall funding to legalizing the Dreamers’ status as offered by Trump on Thursday. She’s willing to pay for a fence, which gives the migrants a sporting chance into the U.S. Since Democrats no longer have eight children per marriage to re-stock the party, they order in.
Argus Hamilton is host at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups around the country. Email him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.