Husband nonchalant about locking house
DEAR ABBY: My husband has a bad habit of forgetting to lock up our house at night when he’s the last one to come to bed. On nine occasions I have gone downstairs after he’s in bed or awakened in the morning to find our sliding patio door or a garage door unlocked.
I cannot understand why this isn’t a priority for him. If I’m the last one to come up for the night, I make sure each door is locked, lights are off, etc. It takes me less than a minute.
We have two large dogs, but I have no idea how they’d react to an intruder. Frankly, I don’t want to find out the hard way. The most frustrating thing about this is, when I try to talk to him about it, he blows it off and says our dogs would never let anyone get far, or he makes a joke about it.
Recently, likely because I’m pregnant with our second child, I lost it and chewed him out after I waddled out of bed to go downstairs and found our sliding door unlocked.
I’m at my wits’ end. It was one thing when it was just the two of us, but now we’re about to have two kids under 2, and I get furious thinking he could be putting all of us in danger. He has taken no responsibility or steps toward fixing this.
I have now reached the conclusion that when I’m home, I must be the one who assumes the responsibility of ensuring our home is secure before we go to bed. But what if I fall asleep early or have to travel for work? Any ideas on how to address this? — LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS
DEAR LOSING: You have already addressed this with your husband. That he is so careless about the safety of his wife and children is shocking. He appears to be very immature.
Because he seems incapable of assuming any responsibility for locking up, you are going to have to do it. There are hightech ways to remotely lock doors from afar, and you should explore that option.
Also, for your own peace of mind, have a professional dog trainer or other experienced dog person enter your home through the unlocked door while you and your husband are upstairs because, while the dogs might not attack a stranger, they might alert you to the presence of an intruder. I suggest this because many years ago my very tame German shepherd did exactly that.
DEAR ABBY: Due to the coronavirus epidemic, handshaking is no longer being practiced. I have never been a fan of handshaking anyway. What will be the best way to avoid it without seeming unfriendly or germophobic? — RESISTING IN MINNESOTA
DEAR RESISTING: Try doing what I do. I place both palms together in front of my chest as though praying, smile and greet the person. No one has been offended by it, and it’s a common way people greet each other in India.
DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I add my prayer of thanks for those courageous men and women who sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. — ABBY