A child’s point of view might improve decision-making
One of my favorite things to do is to listen to pretty much anyone under the age of 11 answer questions. They answer quickly, if not always very clearly. The answer doesn’t get weighed with truth or fiction — it just bursts out. You never know what the answer will entail.
Will it be excitement, sass, a simple shrug of the shoulders or maybe even an answer to a different question? You might hear what your 7-year-old nephew remembers from his last fishing trip with dad — Dad may have said the “sh” word. And it’s really fun learning from your 4-year-old daughter that she thinks big sister’s new boyfriend smells like flowers. I love these moments because they show the true nature of children: innocence.
As parents and community members, we have seen a lot of change come for ourselves and our children in the past few months. Work, school, summer camp and time with our families has changed drastically. Even understanding what justice means has changed, as our leaders help us adjust to life with coronavirus. As we learn to understand justice in our ever-changing world, I wonder where our little ones fit in. What does access to justice look like for our children, especially for those with cases in Family Court in New Mexico?
Family Court for the Second Judicial District encompasses matters such as divorce, parentage, child support, child custody, kinship guardianships and domestic violence. We have four judges and eight domestic relations hearing officers working to adjudicate these matters for Bernalillo County residents. Family Court does not include abuse and neglect or juvenile delinquency. Those matters are handled by our sister court — better known as Children’s Court.
Finding equitable solutions
Each Family Court Judge in Bernalillo
County has approximately 1,200 open cases pending at any given time, which does not include the matters opened in our Domestic Violence Division. That division sees an estimated 2,200 new cases filed each year.
Some Family Court cases don’t involve children, but most do. New Mexico law and court rules set the guidelines for resolving family disputes, including those that involve children. However those guidelines sometimes clash with the understandable human emotions that the people involved bring to these cases.
Bernalillo County Family Court is fortunate to have a program known as the Court Clinic to help individuals work through those emotions and, in most cases, come to a peaceful resolution. Court clinicians review cases with a therapeutic eye — empathizing with all parties — and give judges recommendations for equitably resolving custody disputes.
When seeking these solutions, both court clinicians and Family Court judges are bound by law to let all parties know that the ultimate factor in deciding their case will be the child’s best interest.
What we decide in court, we decide for the children. These decisions will shape the present world in which our children live, as well as their future. As a Family Court judge, I often wonder how our children would answer the question, “What is in my best interest?”
It might help us — now I am talking about adults — to consider a child’s point of view when we find ourselves in conflict with someone, even if it is not in Family Court. Wondering how children would view our behavior might help us make better decisions, especially during this time of uncertainty.
If at some point you and your little ones need Family Court’s services, we are here for you. In the meantime, please do your best to take care of yourselves and each other.