Love takes work and commitment

My husband and I were fixed up on a blind date in 1976. I was a senior at Northwestern and he was finishing dental school at the University of Illinois. After three weeks of dating, I knew he was the one. I think around then he knew, too. Our relationship had its ups and downs from the very beginning, but it was definitely a love to endure.

We were married in 1977 and went on to have four children, all very special in their own ways. Our oldest and youngest were born with significant disabilities. Our other two children were very intelligent and exceptional athletes. Our shared value system was that each child was entitled to a quality of life, and our family was the center of our universe and our marriage.

Forty-three years is a long time to be together with the same person. Marriage is definitely not for the faint of heart. We have been together during the best of times, and during the worst of times. On our wedding day, we made a commitment to each other and took our vows, which we do not take lightly. We have watched each other grow, sometimes together, and sometimes at our own individual pace. Our love story reflects our value system, that we try as hard as we can to do the right thing.

Now as we grow older, we are able to reap the joys of our labors and commitments — watching our children and grandchildren grow into incredible people, celebrating their accomplishments, sharing their despairs and disappointments, and encouraging them to fulfill their destinies, whatever they may be, in the future.

We spend time now once again enjoying each other and our shared interests — sports, traveling, friends and family. We have come to accept the people that we are. I think the secret to a long lasting love is to understand that it takes work, that love is not always a fairy tale, but it is a commitment to the one person who you can share the journey of life with, for better or for worse, in happiness and sorrow, in sickness and in health. After 43 years, I am so happy that I went on that blind date, and found the right person to share our marriage journey with. He is and always will be the love of my life. night, no matter what, even if you are mad. She says that she and Johnny really abide by the old rule “Never go to bed angry.”

To keep the love alive, Johnny likes to go for the big romantic gestures. One year for a special occasion, he had their kids dress up like waitstaff and they decorated the house like a restaurant. He even put roses on the table. Johnny had prepared lobster, crab legs, steak, and all the fixings, and the kids served the love birds like waiters. Johnny has also been known for giving sweet gifts like flowers and special music boxes. And if all else fails, “Just agree with her all the time,” Johnny advises.

So how did Johnny know Mary Helen was the one? “Well, I thought she had money, but, you know, she didn’t! She tricked me!” Johnny said jokingly. Continuing with a more serious tone, Johnny said, “We’ve had our ups and downs, but mostly our ups. It’s hard to say how you know, but you just know she’s the one.”

Johnny and Mary Helen share four kids, 10 grandkids, and four great-grandkids (with another on the way).