Too bad they don’t give Pulitzers for headlines

The best headline so far in the latest impeachment frenzy came from (not surprisingly) the New York Post.

The saucy tabloid perhaps best known for its “Headless Body in Topless Bar” headline a few decades ago, still has the touch.

Superimposed on a photo of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the Post’s big block headline read: “Impeaching to the Choir.”

It was an easy prediction, but I emailed a friend the night before the White House released the transcript of President Donald Trump’s telephone conversation with the Ukrainian president.

I went way out on a limb and suggested that the Democrats would say it proves Trump’s guilt (of something), and the Republicans would say it exonerates Trump.

Sure enough.

One of the Valley’s best events is coming up.

The City of Lancaster’s Bark at the Park is set for 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 5 at Sgt. Steve Owen Memorial Park, 43011 10th St. West.

Only at Bark at the Park can so many canines gather in a confined area without fights breaking out all over.

I always say the word is out in the dog community that every pooch must behave so they don’t lose their fun event.

When my Brigid the Pomeranian was still with us, she loved the agility drills and the Paw-casso painting booth.

I still have some of her masterpieces — painted with her tail — in my classroom, a great conversation piece with the kids.

Once, when I worked full-time at the paper, a woman came into my office and marveled at Bridgie’s painting on the wall. Seeing the name in the lower right corner, she said, “That is a beautiful painting! How old is Brigid?”

“Brigid? Oh, she’s seven,” I replied.

“Seven! She’s really talented. Where does she go to school?”

“Ah, she’s homeschooled.”

As you wander the grounds of the park on Oct. 5, you might think of the old song, “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

OK, probably not. But “Who Let the Dogs Out” was a one-hit wonder for the group Baha Men. Did you know Wednesday was National One-Hit Wonder Day?

It just shows that just about anybody and anything can get a national day. And it shows that entertainment is even more niched than you thought.

I’m not sure who decides our national days. But according to the National Day Calendar, there are more than 1,500 national days. Who knew?

Even performing artists who hit the charts once and returned to obscurity enjoy a national day. This includes such artists as Norman Greenbaum (“Spirit in the Sky”), Wild Cherry (“Play that Funky Music”) and Looking Glass (“Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)”).

As the nation staggers toward another impeachment, local pooches ready for Bark

In researching this item, I learned that iHeartRadio, the Internet site, has an entire station devoted to one-hit wonders. Can you imagine? With so many disparate entertainment outlets, it is no wonder people are more isolated today. What common ground do we have?

William P. Warford’s column appears every Tuesday, Friday and Sunday.