Compassion during the holidays
Our current experiences highlights life difficulties that can be better with a touch of compassion from each other. Researchers show that compassion is wired in the human species. Compassion is more than just empathy. While empathy provides us the ability to feel what others feel and see their perspective, compassion makes us want to alleviate the suffering. Compassion simply compels us to want to help others. Research suggests that compassion has deep evolutionary purpose. The dependence and vulnerability of human babies and children requires a compassionate caregiver to survive. This simple fact not only rearranges our social structures, building cooperative networks to care for our young, it also rearranged our nervous systems wiring, so to speak. We are biologically and neurologically wired to care for the survival of our species.
Certain parts of your brain light up in response to pain or suffering. But it’s not just your own pain that will cause your brain to react. If you see the pain and sufferings of others, the very same parts of your brain activate. We have the same pain response to others people’s pain as we do to our own experience of pain and suffering. But some of us are seemingly more sensitive than others. While some human beings appears to have healthy compassion wirings in their brain, some are lacking. If compassion is necessary for the survival of human kind, how can we make positive compassion become more contagious? Researchers also suggest that positive emotions such as love and compassion spread much more rapidly and collectively than negative emotions such as anger and hate. The giving and the sharing feel good as the reward circuit in the brain is activated by the good deed. More evidence also shows that these good feelings promote stronger social networks and even bridge social divisions.
We can challenge ourselves to spread compassion daily starting today and at least throughout the Holidays. We can strive to be more compassionate beings that we are naturally wired to be. Collectively we can be more:
• Considerate — Suspend your judgment when you are feeling slighted or the tendency to sit on your high horse. Be equally considerate to all that you encounter in your daily lives. You really do not know what pain and sufferings other people have if you readily judge before you seek to understand.
• Affectionate — Sometimes, the one who is pushing your angry button is the one who needs your affection the most. Sometimes all that someone really needs is a loving touch, a warm hug or an understanding smile. Be genuine.
• Selfless — Easier said than done, you would say. It takes a little more effort to be compassionate and help others in need without expecting something in return. To truly help someone in need, your need becomes secondary or not at all in the equation at that moment of compassionate action.
• Kind — Try to go out of your way to be kind. Notice your friend, co-worker or a stranger who could use your assistance. A warm coffee to a homeless person, a book for a book lover who can’t afford to buy one, a warm smile to a lonely stranger on the road — the possibilities are endless if we pay attention and commit to be kind. Daily random acts of kindness will fire your happy brain wirings up!
• Love unconditionally — Show and give love and compassion freely. The more you give love the more you have it. You experience more love as you give love. It may come later but love begets love. It’s a universal rule with very few exceptions.
• Communicate meaningfully and warmly — Words matter. Cultivate encouraging and optimistic vocabulary when you speak, text, email, and in using the social media. Let your genuine compassionate being show through heartfelt communications.
Life is how we make it. Set your intentions to every day spread some compassion and develop strong social bonds that will contribute to an advancing humankind. I will certainly try. Happy Holidays!