In love with a dancer from gentleman’s club

Dear Annie: I am a 64-year-old truck driver from East Texas. I went to a gentlemen’s club and befriended a dancer there, “Renee,” and I have grown to love her dearly in my heart. I feel she is a good-hearted, loving, beautiful and special woman. She is a queen in my heart. She has a three-year-old daughter, and I want to accept her in my heart as well. She needs to have a father figure in her life.

I have asked to take Renee and her family out to eat sometime to show her how much I love her. I have shown my love with gifts for her and her daughter. I have bought flowers, cards and teddy bears. Yet, Renee won’t return my calls, and she rarely responds to my texts. It hurts me deeply. I haven’t been eating or sleeping much.

I feel in my heart that she doesn’t really want to be in the job that she is now and that maybe I could take her away from that. She says I am different from other men who go there and that I have her heart. But she’s said that kind of thing only when in the club and drinking. I wonder whether it’s just the alcohol talking. I pray every day for her and her family to be OK. Will I ever be able to make her love me?

— Aching Heart in East Texas Dear Aching: The best way to show your respect for this woman is to give her and her daughter some space. You’ve made it clear you’re interested, so trust that she’ll reach out to you one day if she feels the same. Rather than waiting around for that day to come, get busy opening other doors for yourself. First, meet more women. During the pandemic, I encourage you to do this from the safety of your own home. Websites such as Match. com and eHarmony are excellent resources and full of people who are looking for meaningful long-term relationships. Second, I’d recommend trying therapy, as it sounds like you might be battling with depression or feelings of isolation. This can be done remotely, too, through websites such as Talkspace, BetterHelp or Online-Therapy.com. Or you can call the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to be referred to providers and resources in your area.