Zuckerberg tries to pull a fast one

Facebook’s name has changed, but it’s breath smells the same.

It’s called Meta, as in “I Meta girl down in North Soho, who drank Champagne that taste just like cherry cola.”

If it smells like a duck and walks like a duck, it’s a duck, or a Zuck, as in Zuckerberg.

I think Mr. Zuckerberg looks like he’d benefit from getting outside in the real sun for a few minutes.

I had a dream that Bill Gates was walking Mark Zuckerberg on a leash in a Silicon Valley park.

It was one of those extendable leashes that gave Mark about fifty feet to run, before Gates wound him back on a spring loaded return mechanism. The leash had spikes on it that made Zuckerberg look like a comfort animal for Judas Priest.

Zuckerberg was choking on the leash when that Twitter guy floated by in a hot air balloon reminiscent of “Around the World in 80 days”, cackling like a hyena.

Then the balloon hit power lines and burst into flames. Zuckerberg pointed at the crashing balloon and had the last laugh.

Zuckerberg can call Facebook whatever he wants, I’m more confident than ever that it’s increasingly toxic and a threat to your privacy.

“I’m not the world’s most passionate man, but I know what I am and I bet I’m a man and so is Lola.”

Like Eddie Haskel on Leave it to Beaver, Zuckerberg thinks he’s the most clever person on the planet, always trying to pull one over on you, and really proud of the fact that he thinks you don’t know he’s pulling one over on you.

I’d rather ride my bike in the real world.

Mitchell Seyfer

Palmdale