Wife is mad over offer

Dear Annie: My wife and I get along well for the most part, but not all the time. She is a control freak who insists on knowing where I am going and what I am doing every second.

She is also obsessed with money and needs to be in control of my spending. Recently, I helped a couple out because their furnace broke and they didn’t have the money for repairs. I loaned them the funds they needed, and my wife got mad about it. I explained that it was during the middle of winter and they had just had a baby, but that didn’t matter.

I feel she is more in love with money than I am. I feel the marriage is over, and I want a divorce.

In the meanwhile, I have found a new love and am in a new relationship with someone who wants me and not money.

What do you feel I should do? I’m not sleeping.

My wife and I don’t even sleep together anymore. She has the bed, and I sleep on the chair in the living room. Any ideas on how to handle this?

— Lost Husband Dear Lost Husband: You might feel lost because your wife is so controlling, but you went behind her back and had an affair. Before you met another woman, you owed it to your wife to have a conversation about why you wanted to quit the marriage. The case you made against her certainly sounds compelling. Not helping a young couple and their baby out with their heat is certainly mean. Feeling like your spouse only wants you for your money is also a terrible way to feel in a marriage.

You could sit down and tell her that it is over and you want a divorce. Or, since you started by saying that you and your wife “get along well,” and you’re not sleeping — possibly because you feel guilty — you could try to patch things up with your wife by securing her promise to stop controlling and hounding you.