A Cinderella -like story

Dear Annie: Perhaps you can help me understand the biggest mystery of my life. I was an unwanted, unloved child. My oldest sister, who is 10 years my senior, was a child born in an earlier marriage. She lived with her maternal grandmother until she was about 12 or 13, and her grandmother gave her anything she wanted. Then she came to live with the “new” family when my mother had been remarried for a year or so.

All of these children were my mother’s “darlings.” I was pretty much marginalized and expected to take care of everyone else partly by asking for nothing.

My mother had been calling my classmates’ parents in grade school, giving bad reports about me. The result was that I never had any friends. She continued doing this throughout my adult life. She sabotaged most of my life in this way. Later, my sisters engaged in this activity.

After I began to discover all of this, I started to question my situation and confronted my mother about this.

My family’s response was to intensify the abuse, and when that didn’t stop me from trying to deal with the situation, what became apparent was the “hidden” animosity toward me that had always been there. A clinical psychologist I had seen stated that she believed there was “pathological jealousy” motivating the behavior I was subjected to.

I ended up moving and had no contact for a long time. I also realized how little I knew about them. All of this has left me with a lot of scars but no answers.

— Black Sheep Dear Black Sheep: I am sorry that you have suffered so much trauma from your family. What your mother and now sisters did to you was cruel. It sounds like a modern-day Cinderella story. Yes, I’m sure your therapist was correct in identifying their jealousy of you — just as the mother and evil stepsisters were jealous of Cinderella’s beauty and kindness.

My hope is that you found, or will find, your Prince Charming and will be able to put the past in the past. It is never too late.