ON CHRISTIANITY

DEAR REV. GRAHAM: I can’t help my feelings of jealousy, although I’ve tried. For example, if I see my husband talking with another woman, I’m always afraid they’ll get too friendly. He gets upset at me for this, but he just doesn’t understand my feelings.

— N.J. DEAR N.J.: The kind of jealousy you describe can be very destructive, and I hope you’ll do everything you can to overcome it. Not only does it lead to mistrust, but it can also destroy relationships and eat away at your soul like an acid. No wonder the Bible says, “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (Proverbs 27:4).

I’m not a psychologist, of course, but I have observed that jealousy often seems to have its roots in a person’s lack of self-confidence. In other words, you don’t only doubt your husband’s love for you, but you also doubt if you are worthy of his love. There may be reasons for these feelings, even dating back to your childhood. (A wise professional counselor can help you understand this; your pastor may be able to suggest someone.)

But listen: Those emotions are lying to you! The most important thing I can tell you is that God loves you, and you are valuable to Him. He loves you so much that His Son, Jesus Christ, was willing to give His life for you. The Bible says, “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us” (1 John 4:16).

Begin by asking Christ to come into your life. Then ask Him, day by day, to help you overcome your jealous fears by filling your heart and mind with the truth of His love for you. The Bible says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18).